Behinde

Oh Women, Be Grateful!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

One thing l hate to do is to be ungrateful. I appreciate people and especially my husband. I saw a post of a woman whose husband gives 4k daily but still laments. Well, l do not know her situation, and it may not be enough for her and perhaps her kids. But it’s important to appreciate the little your husband gives. It may not be enough but try to show gratitude and pray for him. Such a man will love you and strive hard to always make you happy and eventually increase the money.

Things are very hard and costly, but, it’s always important to appreciate the little you are given and find your way around getting more. I will take what you give first and appreciate you, even if it isn’t enough. I will even call your children to say thank you, Dad. Life is hard. It’s not easy everywhere. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes!

Ten Marriage

Believing Women Should Be Honored!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Whilst we advise the womenfolk to stay in their marriage, to be patient, and to persevere for the sake of Allah, it’s also crucial that our men treat them with love and affection. You must try to treat her with utmost care and protect her honor both in the private and public domain.

You do not speak ill of your woman. Neither do you leave her unhappy simply because there is another woman in your life? Every woman is unique in their ways. And believing women deserve to be treated with mercy and love. Our menfolk should always be there to make their woman happy regardless of their circumstances. Do your best and let Allah judge between you both after you have tried your best. But to leave them without care is against the practice of our noble Prophet. May Allah be pleased with him.

There are men, and there are other men. Men, who are faithful and Godfearing; and men who do not give a damn come what may. May Allah grant us the former and not the latter. May He ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Ten Marriage

What Makes People End Marriage of Ten, Twenty, and or Thirty Years Baffles Me!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKMARRIAGE

Well, l was once like yourself.  I’d wanted to end it when the challenges were turbulent.  But l was reminded to think about my why.  I was admonished to take a deeper breath and remember every home comes with its challenges.  So, I’d weigh the consequences and the benefits that may occur after the separation.

What many people fail to do is to weigh the pros and cons before they quit the marriage. Today, you see couples displaying their dirty linens in the media. These are people who were once seen as best friends and great couples.

So, what happened to the love we once said we had for each other?  What happened to the patience and perseverance we once had at the beginning of our marriages? What happened to the forgiveness we promised to exercise?  What happened to the excuses we were once given to each other? Do we even care about each other in the first place? Do we?  Was the love real in the first place?

Most of our women do not want to persevere anymore – nor do they want to be patient at all.  We are quick to call it a day and we probably think there is a flawless man out there. Dear, do not deceive yourself. No home is free from challenges.  Do not be deceived by what you see in the media.  People only tell you what you love to hear. Dear, be patient with your husband and try to resolve your concerns. Leaving him for another man at this time may not be a good start. I am not sure leaving a marriage of twenty years is worth it. The man you are eyeing out there may be far worse than your husband. All that is glisters Is not gold. Think!!

 

 

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What about Men?

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKMARRIAGE

The truth is the saying that, what you give out, is what you get back.  Oh, my dear sister, l wants you to pause for a second and ask yourself, how are you treating your husband? Yes, you may want to ask me the same question, and my husband can tell you the good and the bad sides of me. But I have always tried my best to treat my husband well.

It is saddening that many of our sisters had taken to Feminism, and their husbands are being treated like a piece of shit. It is understandable if a man has money and not doing, but a man who strives to make ends meet should not be termed stupid. Yes, every man should be the sole provider for his family. But, do you appreciate the little he provides? Ain’t you comparing him to your fellow Feminist husband’s friends? And when you spilled the truth, they ask, what about men?

Dear, treat your husband with love and mercy. Appreciate the man in your life. Appreciate the fact that through him you are proud to be called the mother of Sumayyah. He may not be giving as you want. He may be poor like a rat, but your Jannah still lies underneath his feet. If your husband is pleased with you, you should be thankful to Allah.

How many of us have taken to exposing our husbands? How many of us are not appreciative of all the good that is done to us? We are quick to tongue-lash our husbands and we hate them with passion without being remorseful. It may be that you hate what Allah loves and little do you know.

This life will end one day. But your action and inactions will stay with you forever. If you are not pleased with your husband for some reason, take it easy on him and continue to pray for him.  Which woman will tell her husband “You are stupid” because he couldn’t provide everything you want without seeking to see the wrath of Allah?

To those women who are sick and tired of the marriage because the husband isn’t bringing enough, and still able to maintain their patience, May Allah reward you.  May Allah raise our husband’s rank and make them responsible and accountable.  Dear, let’s continue to pray to Allah for our husbands same as the women companions did. They were not given rich husbands, but they were contented.  May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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Najiyyah’s Story Put Me to Tears!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Yesterday evening, we were at a Fund-Raising Dinner at Marriot Hotel and Conference Center, Rockville, Maryland. This program was organized by Dar-us-Salaam in conjunction with Al-Huda School.

Ikhwaan, indeed Allaah Azza Wa Jall has given us many opportunities that we all take for granted. Allaah’s Blessings constantly aim down on us, but hardly do we appreciate Him and His Bounties. As parents, it is important to constantly ask ourselves this question: “How is my relationship with Allaah and my kids? How does l want to be remembered when I’m gone?

In the “I testify, your story, your words” of yesterday, being part of the fund-raising dinner program with Al-Huda School, the story of Najiyyah touched many hearts, a story that put many to tears. I couldn’t hold my tears Subhanallah!

It was a heartwarming story, a soul-stirring message to all and sundry.

Najiyyah was the first-born of her parent. Najiyyah began her story with her father’s love for Islaam and his sacrifice to make sure his children have the best and become knowledgeable deen-wise. Najiyyah’s immediate brother was taken to Al-Huda at the age of 2 or thereabouts to begin learning the Qur’an, while Najiyyah herself was enrolled in Al-Huda School. During this period, her Mum said to her dad, “Isn’t he too little”, but her dad said, you can never tell what this boy will become tomorrow. The 2 years old boy, is now 13 years old and enrolled in Al-Huda Hifz school, and he was the one who recited the Qur’an to open yesterday’s program.

The journey began, things happened in life, trials set in and the family was to face the reality of life. Subhanallah! “Dad used to tell us the Islamic Seerah, he used to read to us the hadith of Rasoolullah and play with us a lot. He reminded us of the purpose of our existence and constantly call us to pray, and for us to remember death may knock at any time. He doesn’t stop there, he used to remind others and his family too”. This was a man who wasn’t born into Islaam, a Black American.

Later, our “brother” became ill back in 2014, and later died at the age of 36! Subhanallah! I wish that wasn’t mentioned in the story. By Allaah, it was a moment of silence and tears in that gathering. I couldn’t but get up afterward to hug Najiyyah, who herself was full of tears and I exchanged numbers with her Mum. I never knew she was the Mum until she began to weep beside me. We chatted and realized we live very close by. All of Najiyyah’s siblings are enrolled at Al-Huda School.

The lesson from this post:

Do all you can to seek Allaah’s face and do it now, don’t procrastinate.

Be involved in the life of your children, and leave behind the best for them (education).

Remain steadfast and be patient upon trials.

Death may knock at any time, so make use of your life before your death.

Do not be afraid to call people to Islaam, and do not get tired of the challenges attached to it.

Oh Allaah, forgive our brother and grant him a lofty place in Jannah. Ya Rabbil Alaameen!

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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Let’s Come Back to Allah

by with No Comment AQEEDAHHEART-TO-HEART TALK

hat will be most painful when we meet Allah is not making it to paradise. The truth is, most of us will struggle to make ends meet till we meet our death. So, that means, we may never become a millionaire till our death knocks. As such, what is more beffiting is going back to Allah. Being deep-rooted in practising our deen – and having the mindset that death may come unannounced.

Let’s make a routine schedule for ourselves and struggle hard to always seek to the face of our LORD. Do not forget Allah while you chase the dunyah. We have all abandon our creator – we have given up on our deen. The truth is, no amount of money you acquire will help you to enter paradise if you are not upon the deen. May Allah ease for us our affairs.

 

Open Bible on a wood table with light coming from above. ( church concept ).

Oh Youngsters!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKMEN AND WOMEN COMPANIONS

I was that small girl who was raised by a Mum of seven. I lost my father at a tender age of 11. Yet, l promised myself to stand tall and do all it takes to make my mother proud by being successful. It was a tough journey for a small child like myself. Life was hard! Life was difficult! It was terribly, terrible!

Truly, we were blessed with a kindhearted, loving mother. She was all l could raise my head up and see – all l could share my pains and worries with. Oh My mother! I was a vulnerable girl. But, l refused to be used and dumped by men. I was always careful and l always tried to follow my mother’s advice and instructions.

Perhaps, you are blessed with good parents who nurture and raised you to become successful in both worlds. That Allah has given you a mother and or father who are there for you is indeed enough as a blessing. You should always be grateful. You should always do your best and live your life memorably.

My father was gone when l needed him most. He was overtaken by death which we all owe! I missed every moment that requires his attention – every gathering where his empty seat were spotted. I missed his fatherly love!

My call is for you as a youngster to listen and be obedient to your parents. Perhaps they may leave you unannounced. The life of this dunya is nothing but temporary. Take with you what will make you become successful tomorrow. Be a child whom your parent will be proud of. Avoid being used as sex toy, and choose your friend wisely. Live your youthful age honourably!

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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We Got Stuck at Jeddah Airport

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESSHEART-TO-HEART TALK

I wanted to share this piece with you based on tawakkul (reliance on Allah) and (sincerity) in doing things solely for the sake of Allah. We had left Mekka early for Jeddah, and we got to King Abdulaziz International Airport around 3:45 am waiting for our flight back to Dulles Airport, Washington.

Upon our arrival at Jeddah Airport, we immediately checked in without delay. That’s around 4 am. The flight takes off at 8:40 am. I didn’t want to go in earlier, so l had set the alarm for 7:23 am where we were sitting at the check-in station. I didn’t pay attention to the boarding time set for (7:10 am) again. My brain has glued to the 8:40 am. Though we have been exhausted and tired. So, we needed to nap before the flight kicks off. Unfortunately, we slept past the time a little bit. And upon getting to the passport check entrance, we realized we couldn’t go in again. I verified with one of the attendees and we were told we were too late. Flight missed! What a heartbreak!!

As if that wasn’t enough. The next story is not funny at all. Then, l was told to see someone at the counter and that someone redirected me to one and another one. I went straight to the customer service representatives. She redirected me to follow the queue and make my complaint known. So, back to the airline representative after a long queue. I can’t help you was his response. So, l was told to see the ‘guest (kinikan).” The lady wouldn’t help me as well. Now, she said to go see the “Ministry of Hajj Rights”. After checking whatever & whatever, they said to go back to them.

Now, l was asked to pay 8500 SAR to book a new flight that will take us back to the United States. That wasn’t funny at all. I was like another $2500 after all the spending here and there? Where is that money going to come from? So, l left the place and go back to the “guest kinikan” l said l do not have any money to pay. I am just coming from spending a whole lot. I have exhausted all l have. I thought l was the only one. Not at all. We were many that needed help. But, we were asked to pay ni o. I remember a sister with her husband and children who were very angry at the lady. And two other ones whose tickets were booked for the wrong day. How about another one who had been at the airport for two days? I was telling myself, Majeedah, you do not have a choice. Still, whenever l think of the money l have to waste for that matter, l just realized tears rolling down my cheeks.

No, l can’t pay such an amount. Now, I started supplicating to Allah. I began with Solatul lbrahimiyyah, then lstigfaar. At this moment, l recall what was shown to me in the Masjid of the Prophet (Medina Al-Munawarrah). Then I began to chant Allahuma La Sahla, Bismillahi Allahuma Rahmatakha, and La illaha illa anta. So, hours passed by. Still no way out. So, l raised my head and was having a conversation with Allah in tears. I couldn’t remember anything. Cause, l have always begged Allah to not make me remember any good l do to people. But, two things strike my mind.

So, l say to Allah, Allah you remember the day l sat by the side of my bed crying to you that l have to send another money to feed the needy and the poor. I wasn’t buoyant that day. But, l did it for your sake. Oh Allah, they are your servant. Oh Allah, remember those that l cloth on Eid day from among your servant. If it is true that l have done it for your sake without expecting anything back nor was it done to show off. Please, relieve me of this burden. I do not have such an amount to pay. I can’t pay such an amount, Ya Allah.

Eventually, l was asked to bring my old ticket, the guy collected it and said to me, go get your baggage and come back to me. I will put you on another flight. That was the end of it. This whole drama took me 8 hours to resolve. I was grateful. I didn’t pay a dime when many people had to pay. It was indeed a test of faith. If one is not strong in faith, one would have questioned Allah. Indeed, it was a test of faith and l am grateful in all situations. It feels good to be home. May Allah accept our Ramadaan and Umrah.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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Live, Laugh & Love

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKISLAMIC ETIQUETTES

Every pregnancy comes with its challenge. And to be blessed with the fruit of the womb is Fadhl from Allah. Indeed a blessing from the Highest (Allah). While l was pregnant with my last child, as early as the last trimester, the illness l had, couldn’t be described. From emesis (vomiting) to heartburn. The food regurgitation in the middle of my sleep couldn’t ever be forgotten. When that happens, l had to struggle to catch my breath. In the long run, l resorted to sleeping in a sitting position as the pregnancy grows. Though the pregnancy hormone (progesterone) can increase heartburn, starting in the first trimester and indigestion is common in pregnancy as well.

Furthermore, pregnant women in their late second and third trimesters may experience a condition similar to superior vena cava syndrome. This occurs when the inferior vena cava (the smaller of the two veins that transport deoxygenated blood back to the heart) gets compressed by pressure from the fetus and the enlarged uterus. This is also called Supine Hypotensive syndrome. As described above, the gravid uterus compresses the inferior vena cava when a pregnant woman is in a supine position, leading to decreased venous return centrally.

Yes, l want the baby to live like the rest. I want to see her laugh and hold her tight with love. Each time l looked at the big belly, l was always scared. I was scared of myself, the baby, and my labor. I always pray that l come back home with the baby and myself alive. I was between fear and hope. Each time l woke up pregnant, l was always thankful. And l was looking forward to the day the baby will finally arrive.

Unlike some of my children, I waited for forty weeks and some days before she finally arrived. I can’t describe how the labor went. At a point, l was going to give up on pushing. But l was encouraged to never give up. One thing l didn’t give up on, was my prayer. It was my “coat”. And Allah never leaves a servant who calls Him by His name. I am thankful she had the opportunity to live, and we finally had to laugh and raise her beautiful self, with love, mercy, and care.

I pray for all TTC sisters and as well as all pregnant women reading this. May Allah ease your affairs and May He grant you a safe delivery.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
July 1st, 2022

You Remember Eid is Around the Corner?

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKISLAMIC ETIQUETTES

Indeed all power belongs to Allaah alone. Dunya is racing ahead of us. Memories take us back, while dreams take us ahead. Indeed, the life of this Dunya is nothing but temporary.

You won’t agree less with me if l say, 1438 Eid Al-Had seems to have just passed yesterday. The same way is the fact that our days are numbered on Earth.

When we were little (very small), when Eid is coming close, my Mum used to start preparing the outfit for Eid. She used to get our shoes and every other thing that goes along with it. We used to get set “mind-wise”. Too many thoughts like the get-together, the foodies, the outfits, and visits, etc…

Islam has given us more awareness of our existence in life. Islam has given us the heart to ponder, the brain to think, the mind to be prepared for death, and the tests/trials of Dunya. Islam has informed us that perhaps, while we are rejoicing that Eid is almost here, while we are thinking about the joy of that blessed day, we shouldn’t forget those who couldn’t smile like us, those who do not have food to eat on this joyous day, those who are pleading for assistance, those who have no dress to put on among men and women folks.

It’s imperative to ponder on this, same as l am doing to myself right now.

What are you giving out before Eid to make someone happy?

Who are you visiting on Eid day from the less privileged?

How about the prisoners who have said, “We can’t celebrate Eid like you”?

Would you consider them and give from what you have?

Would you call family and friends to know how you can help?

By Allaah, this post is a reminder to myself first. May Allaah grant us all the goodness on that special day. May Allaah spare our souls till then and beyond. Ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.

Eid Mubarak to you all in Advance!

Umm Sumayyah Mai
Dhul-Hijjah 7th 1439AH, Aug 2018