Fans, I See You!

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 have heard and seen brothers who are struggling to put a smile on the faces of their wives and children. They are working hard to get them Eid dresses and also purchase what to slaughter on the big day. Alas, many ain’t buoyant and may not meet up before Eid. 

I see you, bro! Allah sees your struggle. He knows how much you care about your family and He hasn’t forsaken you. May Allah enrich you.

I see my beautiful sisters who are taking a deep breath. Yes, they want to be happy like other women. But things ain’t going well as wished.

Be patient, sister. Be patient with your husband my dear, sister. Allah will enrich him. Allah will uplift him sooner than you expected. It isn’t his fault. Appreciate him for the little he is doing. May Allah reward your patience with Jannah. May He ease the affairs of our home.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

An Excerpt from “Thriving Together”

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Polygny is a practice approved of by Allāh,and it can not be overruled by the personal desire of any human .In fact bearing in mind that it’s a Divine ordainment for men should help a true Muslimah to submit to the decree of Allāh.This is the period to exercise patience and bear the pain with total reliance on Allāh.
Yes it’s easier said than done.but remember that I have been there’ and I write based on personal experience.Its normal to be hurt .It is okay to cry .But remember to hold on to the rope of Allāh.
Tell Allāh. “Here I am a submissive servant of yours.A promise to do it for your sake!
I promise to accept her for ur sake !
My living and my death are solely for you O Allāh help me to be firm, submissive and grant me steadfastness I am about to take on a huge task so help me ,O Allāh
Go and buy this interesting book from
Source:
THRIVING TOGETHER: STRATEGY FOR OVERCOMING POLYGYNY TRIALS

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Be Determined in Your Goals

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I was having a nice conversation with a colleague of mine the other day, and l told her l started nursing school when my third child was a month old. She was like, Majeedah; Wow! Wow! Wow!

Yes, it’s really important to be focused and determined in life. I have always told my kids to always go for their dreams. Nothing is unachievable in my diary. If you are certain that something will make a great impact in your life, make sure you pursue it. Do not procrastinate – do not give up. Yes, it can be overwhelming and tiring, but, the goal is success for you.

Seek Allah’s aid through prayers, dedication commitment, and let the result speak for you. May Allah grant us success in all we lay our hands on. I am a go-getter. Yes, l am an achiever. Alhamdulilaah!

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Two Ways Your Brand or Name Can Become Spoiled

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There are two ways your brand or name can become spoiled and extremely difficult to rectify.

1. If you are not known to be truthful, sincere, and of good integrity, you may not be able to rectify the damage your action or inaction has caused you online.

2. If you are known to be honest and of good manners and integrity, some people will still believe what is said about you to the general public. But, your personality and truthfulness will speak for you. This may take time, but your brand will eventually be rectified.

The first is the worst position you do not want to be. Ensure to always maintain a good reputation in both private and public life. No one is perfect but as a business personnel, you must be extremely careful. Hence, you may regret you ever come to the media for business. May Allah rectify us all.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

IMG-20240119-WA0003

You May Not Follow The Media

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There are so many things to look into when it comes to a marriage proposal. The man Aqeedah, what is the person’s Manhaj? Compatibility in Deen and Character. His patience and mannerisms. How about his anger and how caring he is? Is he someone who has mercy and love in his heart? How is he to his parent and sisters?

 

You must be able to establish those factors.

Get to thoroughly find out whom he has lived with, transacted business with, and traveled with.

 

Let me burst your bubble.

 

I do not say you should accept a proposal from a man who can’t feed himself and does not have a roof to put you under. I do not say you should reject the proposal of a wealthy brother. But, be smart enough to look above wealth. Look before you leap. Again, thoroughly make your findings. Look before you leap. Deen superseded wealth.

 

In 2003, l married my only husband who was earning 10k monthly and still living in his parent’s house. Wo, this poor woman has gone through a lot in marriage. Get my books for more tips on how to become a successful woman in Dunya and Akhirah. My first book “Towards A Successful Marriage” (buy it here) will assist you a lot before saying, Yes, l do. My second book  “Heart-to-Heart with My Sister” (buy it here) will calm your Nafs to thread patiently and have a forgiving heart toward your husband. My third book “Thriving Together Strategies for Overcoming Polygny Trials”  (buy it here) will assist you in overcoming the trials of a polygyny marriage. May Allah accept and bless all the books.

 

See, money is very, very, important. But, l am a woman of Tawakkul. But, be sure you are not fooling yourself around with a man who does not give a freak. May Allah grant you the best.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Consistency is Key

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Consistency creates stability and it’s the key to success in all areas of life. We are advised to choose a habit we can maintain, and build on it.

 

It is the same consistency that makes you become recognized in the sight of Allah. Once you become addicted, say for example, in observing Qiyam Layl. Allah already recognized you. And if you fall short due to sickness or are overtaken by sleep, you will be getting a reward for what you love doing.

 

It is inconsistency in prayers that makes some people question who their LORD is. This makes them seek help from others other than Allah.

 

It is consistency that is missing in relationships, friendships, and marriage at large. Many of us do not want to sacrifice to maintain love and build solid homes for a better generation to come. We are quick to give up.

Inconsistency has made a man or woman who had vowed to be considerate, loving, and merciful towards each other forget the reward that comes with it in both worlds. And indeed Allah loves those who are consistent in worship. However, not many people understand that marriage itself is worship. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Beyond Money!

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Again, marriage is a complex thing. What works in your home may not work in others’ homes. So, before you walk away due to his financial inadequacy, try to see other goods in him.

It may not be ideal to marry anyone who does not have a roof to put you under – nor is it compulsory to marry a billionaire. That doesn’t mean you should say No if you find one whose Din and character please you alongside his wealth. Who doesn’t like good things? A man who is attracted by your beauty should also be ready to spend on you to maintain that beauty.

However, a religious, kind-hearted man may be an average man in finance. That makes sticking with him crucial after thorough findings before saying Yes, I do. Saying ‘Yes’ to him may be considered an opportunity to grow in love and mercy. Your intention of marriage with him is beyond money, but patience. Eventually, when the money comes, he will utilize it considerably.

Money is indeed needed in all relationships. A man should always have something he does regardless. But, love, mercy, and compatibility in Din and characters should never be ignored. If your husband is trying, try to endure. Do not leave the marriage without considering other factors.

May Allah enrich our spouses. May He ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Patience in Worshipping Allah

Most Women Are Forbearing

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It takes a lot of patience and endurance for any marriage to survive the trials and challenges of life. Yes, there are times you question your existence in the marriage. As in, why me? Why do l have to be the one to do this? It is during that vulnerable time that Shaitan finds his way to your heart – wanting you to call it a day. He probably whispers to your ears that there are better men out there. Sadly, all that glitters is not gold. Your husband may be better than them little do you know.  

Most women are forbearing, but not with a man who does not respect, value, or appreciate them. Men are supposed to be the leaders of their households. And it’s understandable if a man becomes financially incapacitated. What is reasonable to ask is how are you to your household before now.

In all, prayer is always needed. But, do not just rely on that. Allah truly wants you to put in a great effort. So do your family. It’s important to keep your leadership role no matter how little.

Women should learn to cut their clothes accordingly. Be a woman who cries to Allah and do not compare your marriage with that of your friends. Try to always keep your home. Do not be quick to seek for divorce. No marriage is free from trials. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

orig aff woman

Who Do Women Love Most?

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While l was growing up, l couldn’t forget the attachment l had with my father. The love l had and will continue to have for him even while he has returned to Allah. My mother is my best friend and a role model to date. The love l have for her is indescribable.

Once l became married, l transferred the love to my husband, and now my kids. Even while l never stopped praying for my father. So, the question of who women love most comes to mind and l realized many women will tell you, my husband or perhaps my kids. As I’ve mentioned in my book, ‘Towards A Successful Marriage’ “Can love be too much?” though, our core love must solely be for Allah, before the most loveable person, our husbands.

But when trial surfaces in the marriage, you will be surprised that some women who had told the world, “I love my husband,” are the same to tell them how terrible the man is. The worst is to allow yourself to be carried away by frustration and tell the same world how incompetent he is.

While no man is infallible, you shouldn’t bring your marital problem to any social media outlets. Love sensibly, choose wisely, and exercise patience when trial strikes. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

original praying woman

You Are Rich, My Dear Sister!

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Being rich isn’t all about money. It isn’t just about the luxuries and fortunes a man possesses or has acquired. What is the benefit of a man whom the world has known now for his richness and power; without a small atom of faith?  l tell you something, it is worthless.

Your situation might be tense as we speak, but you are rich my dear sister. You are rich in Imaan, taqwa, and steadfastness. This is why you are being tested. You are rich in listening to the book of Allah and putting them into practice. You are rich in doing things solely for Allah. You are rich when the world makes you cry, and the tears drop down your cheeks. You are rich when things are constantly proven hard. And you take it with the patience bestowed upon you by Allah. You are rich for not giving up when your eemaan is put to the test. Yes, you are rich when no one is available to share your pain and give you comfort. Yet, you hold on to His rope.

My sister, you are rich. The parable of your richness is found in the book of Allah. Allah says: If you believe in Allah and do good deeds, paradise awaits you. Allah (SWT) says: But those who believe and do deeds of righteousness, we shall admit them to the Gardens under which rivers flow to dwell therein forever. Allah’s Promise is the Truth, and whose words can be truer than those of Allah? Qur’an 4[Nisa’]:122.

Umm Sumayyah Mai