Remembering your ‘why’ in marriage is crucial. It’s essential to support each other through life’s ups and downs, ensuring neither partner becomes weak. When trials come, like infertility struggles, your spouse might feel overwhelmed. As a supportive partner, stand tall, reminding them of Allah’s mercy and that joy is on the horizon.

Trials can shake faith, causing us to drift from our spiritual practices. A spiritually grounded partner can gently guide the other back to their Rabb. Choose wisely, and may Allah protect and strengthen our marriages.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

A couple faced a daunting challenge when the husband suffered a stroke, followed by the wife. This predicament took a toll on their lives, especially the wife, who became the breadwinner after her husband’s health and financial struggles. Now, with her own health compromised, their future looks uncertain. Imagine the suffering this family might endure, especially if their children are still young and unable to shoulder responsibilities.

Life is a trial, and marriage can be one too.i Reflecting on Allah’s mercy can foster appreciation for one another. No one wishes for afflictions like losing a spouse or struggling with health issues. As couples, let’s cultivate gratitude and hope in Allah. Your husband may not give you everything you want, but he’s still trying. Your wife may have weaknesses, but she’s alive and cares for your children. Marriage isn’t about comparing your partner to others; it’s about appreciating what you have. Alhamdulillah in all situations.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

One of the key elements that gives marriage a lasting edge is when both couples make a conscious effort to avoid intentionally hurting the one they love. A union between two lovely people not only strengthens their love but also creates a lasting bond. However, when challenges arise, and one party is hurt due to the other’s behavior or character, the hurt individual may develop a mindset of revenge. This mindset, often seen in women, can manifest as a deep-seated desire to retaliate or hurt the other party in the future, especially in old age.

I hear you, and I feel your pain deeply. It’s understandable to feel this way, given the hurt and exhaustion you’ve endured. The sadness and vacuum in your heart are palpable. However, I want to encourage you today to let go of this mindset of revenge. Holding onto it can consume you and prevent you from healing and moving forward.

Instead, consider the power of forgiveness and letting go. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting the hurt or excusing the other person’s behavior, but rather releasing the hold it has on you. By choosing to forgive, you can begin to heal and rebuild your life. Remember, life is too short to be consumed by bitterness and anger. Choose love, forgiveness, and peace, and let go of the need for revenge.

By doing so, you’ll not only free yourself from the weight of resentment but also create space for personal growth, healing, and potentially, a more fulfilling relationship – either with your partner or with yourself.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

No, it’s not possible! You too don’t have all he wants in a woman, remember. Why is this so? It’s simply because neither you nor he is perfect.

My dear, don’t try leaving that marriage, if it is not:

1. apostasy;

2. promiscuity;

3. financial irresponsibility (such as deliberate stinginess);

4. physical or emotional violence;

5. sexual incapability; and

6. premeditated abandonment.

The decision to take a walk due to one, some or all of the above should only be made after frantic efforts to put him right had proven abortive. You should have either spoken to a wise elder or a marriage counsellor to help arbitrate in the matter. This is because:

1. a man who apostatises may heed correction and end up a better Muslim;

2. a man who yearns to have a taste of anything under skirt may become the most faithful husband;

3. a stingy man, if spoken to, may end up the most generous;

4. a man who pounds his wife, if therapeutically handled, may become the calmest husband on earth;

5. a man whose manhood hardly rises for bedding showdown may end up a fabulous wrestler on the war ring et cetera.

Every other thing aside the aforementioned may be enduringly managed till death does you both part. Things such as:

1. he’s poor (That is no fault of his, if laziness isn’t the cause. The poorest man today may become the richest tomorrow, remember);

2. he doesn’t help me do house chores;

3. he snores;

4. He farts;

5. he doesn’t tell me he loves me;

6. he doesn’t wish me a happy birthday;

7. he doesn’t take me out often;

8. I can’t bear a second wife;

9. he doesn’t call nor visit my parents like he does with his;

You may add to the list.

If you leave a man because he doesn’t do something, the other man you will later come across, because he’s no Angel, will equally have his own shortcomings, and his may even be more injurious to bear.

What makes one last in marriage is endurance. As you enjoy, you endure. Don’t expect too much.

Sanni Kay Yūsuf