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Start Your Day Distancing Yourself from Your Phone

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

One of the valuable lessons I’ve learned over the years is to start my day by distancing myself from my phone during the last third of the night. More importantly, I make it a point to raise my hands in supplication to my Rabb before speaking with anyone.

Working in an acute care setting, specifically in Neuro/Stroke, can be challenging. To prepare myself for the day ahead, I ask my Rabb to grant me the best patients and family members. This morning moment is also an opportunity to seek the good of this life and the next.

Let’s not forget to include our loved ones – parents, children, spouses, and family members – in our supplications during this critical time. By doing so, we can live a more fulfilled life.

Take advantage of this precious morning period to express gratitude for what we have and what’s to come. May Allah grant us safety and steadfastness.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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A Difficult Reality

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

When I tell people that I’m uncompromising when it comes to my children, they often press for clarification. Beyond acknowledging that children are a sacred trust (Amanah) from Allah, I’m committed to raising them according to the principles of pristine Islam.

As you cherish your children, remember those who face challenges in this regard. Sisters often ask me for advice on how to cope with a husband struggling with infertility, and I’m often at a loss for words. This is because the reality is harsh and unforgiving. It’s difficult to advise someone to leave their spouse, and ultimately, the decision rests with the individual.

I’ve had the privilege of meeting men who acknowledge the sacrifices made by their wives in such situations, and it’s essential to recognize that blame is not the solution. Infertility is a significant challenge that demands empathy and understanding.

Couples facing this trial should seek help without delay. Procrastination can exacerbate the issue, leading to further complications. May Allah ease the struggles of all those navigating this difficult reality.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Unusual Signs and Symptoms

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

Poverty and ignorance in our dear country are other factors to talk about. A man who starts to feel the usual in his body system refuses to go for a check-up because of money.

Perhaps, if not for ignorance, he wouldn’t have neglected the unusual signs and symptoms until they worsened.  Except in cases where they won’t attempt to attend to him until he makes a consultant payment.  And that makes it more difficult for people in that category.

Still, always make a consultation about your health even if it’s a headache. Persistent headaches may be a tumor in your brain and may be a sign of stroke or bleeding in your brain.  And it may just be an ordinary stress and lifestyle changes you may need to make and adopt.

Anytime you notice the unusual, always seek medical help. Please, always.  Don’t wait and not talk about it.  Please, talk about it.  Seek medical help and allow Allah to take care of the rest.

I have lost many people due to this. We need more healthcare awareness to curb this menace. I am working to be part of those who will save more lives. May Allah make it successful.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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Oh, Believing Sisters

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

While you work pretty hard to look beautiful, and much harder to promote your business and brand,  l ask, how much effort do you put into seeking the face of your lord?

See, it’s important to strike a balance between both. Once you are gone, your beauty will not do you any good. But, your dedication towards seeking Allah’s face will be of great assistance to you.

So, while you wake up thinking of the route to take, be sure you also add to your to-do list, what it means to prepare for death, the inevitable.  After all, your body will eventually be consumed by the grave – a place of loneliness. Have dunya in your hand and not your heart.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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Health: Be Thankful; It’s Uncommon Grace of Allah!

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

I am emotional today.

If you are a good person, good people will surround you when trial strikes, and when something as great as your health is put on the line.

My patient is blessed with two beautiful women, his wife and Mum. But he is very emotional. That is something l can’t stand. He is progressing well and l am happy for him.  Once he asked to walk around the unit to increase mobility and stability, he began to cry again, and l was feeling him. I was almost going to drop tears under the mask.

Indeed, if your trial isn’t on your health, be grateful.

May Allah grant us sound health.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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First Impression Matters the Most

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

 

I was floated to the ‘South Cardiac Unit’ the other day, and I took care of four patients. Three of whom were very ill.  Upon getting my report, I walked into the room and realized that one of my patients needed more attention. So, I quickly addressed her needs – from notifying the hospitalist on call; to getting her all the necessary medications alongside my assessments.

So, after stabilizing her, the other patient with chest pain was quickly attended to. CT scan and EKG were done, and metoprolol was administered as ordered. She became better. Alhamdulillah!

By Allah, I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch that day until I got home. I was extremely busy taking care of these patients of mine. What made me proud and gladdens my heart that day was the love and appreciation of the first patient I treated. She called me into her room approximately 14 minutes before the end of my shift and expressed her gratitude towards me. I hugged and kissed her forehead knowing fully that she appreciated everything that I did for her. I was surprised by her good heart because I wasn’t expecting gratitude from her. I did all l do without expecting a thank you!

She said, “Thank you so much. I feel so much better!” and she said further:  “Since you came in, in the morning, I knew that I was going to have a good day. I also told my family that I think the nurse I have today is going to be a good nurse and you proved that to me.” l was wowed and thank my LORD for making me who l am.

Life will continue to teach me lessons. I am grateful for knowing Islam and the Sunnah. May Allah always make us better than people think of us.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Productivity

Channel Your Grief into Productivity

by with No Comment AQEEDAHHEALTH AND FITNESS

Yes, everyone gets the fact that you have been tried. That Allah put you through a huge trauma that is hard to swallow. We understand the effect on your mental and spiritual health. And we know for a fact that you are frustrated and depressed.

I think it’s important to know that the whole issue isn’t really about you alone. It’s also about your loved ones, family and friends. It’s about you not crossing the limit of Allah. The Prophet (may Allah be pleased with him) is a great example for us with every challenge that comes our way.  This is a nobleman who lost his wife, and children when he least expected.  How about the pains and suffering he encountered during battles?

I have come to realize the effect of losing a loved one places on women.  And especially our Muslim sisters. Though, very saddening to say the least.  But, it’s essential to know what to do and how productive you can become if you are put on the same trial.

  1. You must believe in Qadar. Accept the fact that it’s Allah’s doing.
  2. You need to breathe. Take a deep breath. Cry it out. Cry, yes, cry and cry out your pain.
  3. Get help as soon as possible. You can request to visit a behavioral unit in the nearest hospital.
  4. Let the attending physician know you are feeling awkward. And you feel like taking your life.
  5. Use strong emotions to increase your productivity.
  6. Express your pain. Speak with someone. Talk about who your loved one was while on Earth.
  7. Channel your strength to what you love doing most. Learn to rediscover yourself.
  8. Choose your grieving skills and scopes. Refrain from dwelling too much on your grief.
  9. You can dedicate the pain and frustration to seeking knowledge and or exercising.
  10. You can start a campaign and talk to people who were once in your shoes and learn their coping mechanisms.
  11. You can choose to write a story about your loss. You can also publish a book to that effect and or create an avenue where you can lend your voice to people with suicidal ideation.

Dear Muslimah, you may not know how strong and deep-rooted you are in faith until you are afflicted with trials and tribulations.  So, it’s important to remember to always hold still when trial strikes. One of those who will sympathize with you either positively or negatively, aside from your loved ones is Shaytain.  So be ready to pass Allah’s test and not give in to Shaytain’s plot.

He is the one who whispers in your ears that the end is now. He may begin to ask you the reason why you still want to live when your husband is gone. So, surround yourself with the Quran and pious people. Gradually, you will overcome the pain.  The truth is, you will feel the heaviness on your chest. The pain is real. But your reward awaits.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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We Got Stuck at Jeddah Airport

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESSHEART-TO-HEART TALK

I wanted to share this piece with you based on tawakkul (reliance on Allah) and (sincerity) in doing things solely for the sake of Allah. We had left Mekka early for Jeddah, and we got to King Abdulaziz International Airport around 3:45 am waiting for our flight back to Dulles Airport, Washington.

Upon our arrival at Jeddah Airport, we immediately checked in without delay. That’s around 4 am. The flight takes off at 8:40 am. I didn’t want to go in earlier, so l had set the alarm for 7:23 am where we were sitting at the check-in station. I didn’t pay attention to the boarding time set for (7:10 am) again. My brain has glued to the 8:40 am. Though we have been exhausted and tired. So, we needed to nap before the flight kicks off. Unfortunately, we slept past the time a little bit. And upon getting to the passport check entrance, we realized we couldn’t go in again. I verified with one of the attendees and we were told we were too late. Flight missed! What a heartbreak!!

As if that wasn’t enough. The next story is not funny at all. Then, l was told to see someone at the counter and that someone redirected me to one and another one. I went straight to the customer service representatives. She redirected me to follow the queue and make my complaint known. So, back to the airline representative after a long queue. I can’t help you was his response. So, l was told to see the ‘guest (kinikan).” The lady wouldn’t help me as well. Now, she said to go see the “Ministry of Hajj Rights”. After checking whatever & whatever, they said to go back to them.

Now, l was asked to pay 8500 SAR to book a new flight that will take us back to the United States. That wasn’t funny at all. I was like another $2500 after all the spending here and there? Where is that money going to come from? So, l left the place and go back to the “guest kinikan” l said l do not have any money to pay. I am just coming from spending a whole lot. I have exhausted all l have. I thought l was the only one. Not at all. We were many that needed help. But, we were asked to pay ni o. I remember a sister with her husband and children who were very angry at the lady. And two other ones whose tickets were booked for the wrong day. How about another one who had been at the airport for two days? I was telling myself, Majeedah, you do not have a choice. Still, whenever l think of the money l have to waste for that matter, l just realized tears rolling down my cheeks.

No, l can’t pay such an amount. Now, I started supplicating to Allah. I began with Solatul lbrahimiyyah, then lstigfaar. At this moment, l recall what was shown to me in the Masjid of the Prophet (Medina Al-Munawarrah). Then I began to chant Allahuma La Sahla, Bismillahi Allahuma Rahmatakha, and La illaha illa anta. So, hours passed by. Still no way out. So, l raised my head and was having a conversation with Allah in tears. I couldn’t remember anything. Cause, l have always begged Allah to not make me remember any good l do to people. But, two things strike my mind.

So, l say to Allah, Allah you remember the day l sat by the side of my bed crying to you that l have to send another money to feed the needy and the poor. I wasn’t buoyant that day. But, l did it for your sake. Oh Allah, they are your servant. Oh Allah, remember those that l cloth on Eid day from among your servant. If it is true that l have done it for your sake without expecting anything back nor was it done to show off. Please, relieve me of this burden. I do not have such an amount to pay. I can’t pay such an amount, Ya Allah.

Eventually, l was asked to bring my old ticket, the guy collected it and said to me, go get your baggage and come back to me. I will put you on another flight. That was the end of it. This whole drama took me 8 hours to resolve. I was grateful. I didn’t pay a dime when many people had to pay. It was indeed a test of faith. If one is not strong in faith, one would have questioned Allah. Indeed, it was a test of faith and l am grateful in all situations. It feels good to be home. May Allah accept our Ramadaan and Umrah.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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Mistakes Parents Make In Raising Children!

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESSISLAMIC ETIQUETTESMEN AND WOMEN COMPANIONS

Giving up on them: Yes, some children are difficult to raise. But once you become tired and leave them alone, you had only added more to their problems. Never give up on your child’s challenges and behavior.

Dua: This can’t be stressed enough. That you made a dua for a particular child and it hasn’t manifested in the child’s behavior doesn’t make you relent. You must continue and be hopeful that Allah will change the child.

Not rewarding a child when he does well. A child should be praised for the little he achieved and encouraged to continue the same pattern.

Not creating time for children: We have seen cases of abandonment in children. This isn’t because both parents are divorced, but because they do not care about raising and nurturing good children. The husband works Mon – Sunday and the mother is always at work. No days are left for the children. We must prioritize our time and do less overtime if we want our children to be successful in both worlds.

No importance is attached to Islamic etiquette and teaching: Children should be taught basic Islamic education. They must be raised on pristine Islam and the fear of Allah should be cultivated in them. A child whose parent doesn’t pray may find prayer strange when advised of its importance. A child should be taught about Tawheed and what it means to be dutiful to Allah and one’s parents.

When parents overlook a child’s bad manners and character: Foremost, you must know your child’s companion and no parent should ignore a child who constantly proves no manners. Correction should be made without delay and reprimanding such behaviour approrapltely is the best.

Every child is unique in their ways: Do not compare A to B. Avoid creating destructive jealousy in their minds. Talk to each child accordingly when they are wrong and do not make a comparison in front of them. That doesn’t mean l am perfect in this area, l have done it before, but it isn’t the best. It may lead to low self-esteem and depression. Caution should be taken at all times.

May add more later, ln shaa Allah. May Allah bless our children and make them successful in both worlds.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

RAISING BETTER CHILDREN COMES WITH A VERY HUGE SACRIFICE

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

Regardless of the child’s gender, raising a better child comes with sacrificing your sleep, your time, and paying attention to details. Sometimes, l do ask how my mother did it, how my precious mother was able to raise all of us by herself. Subhanallaah!!

Indeed, l have since agreed that mothers are priceless. Yes, good mothers deserved to be celebrated every single day. it’s important to take after them so that one doesn’t regret it. I have seen ‘sheghe’ when it comes to raising children. It’s not an easy task. But, it’s a job that will fetch you goodness in this life, and when you meet your lord (Allah).

Mothers, raise your daughters well. And do not leave your son out of the picture. This is the time to sacrifice your sleep and give total care and attention to these youngsters. By Allah, they need to be monitored and nurtured well. My mother will say, relax, allow them to do the cooking. No matter the turnout.

Allow your children to clean their bedrooms and scrub the bathrooms. Not the house help. Allow them to take showers early in the morning and brush their teeth pretty well before eating.

Let them do their laundry and hang their clothes appropriately. Please, do not be tired of nurturing them. A child will grow up in the manner in which she is raised.

I hate to see a child sit in an environment where the floor is nasty, dirty, and untidy. I can’t stand it. My kids know that. I don’t want to raise a child someone will ask, who is your mother? So, it comes with a very huge sacrifice and prayers. May Allah assist us to raise good children. May they all be successful.

Umm Sumayyah Mai