Allah Put You in That Position for a Reason: It Isn’t Because You Are Better Than Them

by with No Comment ISLAMIC ETIQUETTES

A sister messaged me and expressed her mind toward me. Apparently, she wanted to speak with me and the only thing l did was a reply to her tasleem. Perhaps, l may be at work or may even be going through something myself. Many people like me can’t come online and start complaining about our plights. It will affect many people that l know without any trace of pride. So, at most times l handle things myself without complaining to anyone except Allah.

Sometimes, l feel overwhelmed and tired. I sometimes feel frustrated when l see some messages. I have for so many times cried out and run to my husband. Only for him to calm me and remind me of the title above.

I recall a day Abu Zayd Idris Ismail asked to speak with me, I think it took me about five days or even a week before l finally got the chance. Ask ‘Bilqis Yusuf’ if l have been able to speak with her. Even while she wanted to address something of great importance. We kept missing one another.

It has always not been intentional. I wouldn’t hurt anyone intentionally. But, by Allah,  l can’t answer everyone.  It’s not just possible. So, if you feel offended about your messages not being read or replied to, remember l am human. I can’t answer everyone. Always give excuses for your sister.

See, I don’t get angry over unreplied messages or calls.  What l do is to continue to remind the person and hopefully, he or she gets to me someday. It’s 12:30 am on Sunday, Jan 28th and I haven’t slept.  This is someone who had to park to sleep for 10 minutes on my way back from work.

But, l have promised to reply those that l asked to message  me on WhatsApp for our #RiseToEmpower program.  By Allah, l am only sacrificing my sleep for the sake of Allah. So, l ask you to always give excuses to your sister, as l will always give to you as well. May Allah ease our affairs. May He forgive us all.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

mecca night trip

My First Night

by with No Comment ISLAMIC ETIQUETTES

 

My son had waited by the door to be the first to welcome us. Yes, l love the hug l got from him yesterday. It was a lovely one. I am sincerely grateful to Allah for a very safe return. I am happy that we landed safely at the airport, got our luggage, and finally returned to our place of residence.

We wouldn’t sleep without narrating our experiences. So much so that my son and my first daughter wished they had gone with us. I heard him saying, Oh “l want to go there too”. Yes, it was a night following many great nights in our lives. I wish l could stay longer in Medina and Makkah respectively. I have missed the great cities. I have missed the congregational prayers and the people of Madina and Makkah. I have missed many great things and my dream was all about these beautiful cities of Rasulullah. We had the best crew ever. I have also missed them.

Oh, Allah return us to your house. Accept all our prayers and forgive all our sins. May you visit the great cities too. Ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen!

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

January 1st, 2022

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College Life!

by with No Comment ISLAMIC ETIQUETTESMEN AND WOMEN COMPANIONS

Dear honey, yes, you are my son and the only son that gives me joy and trouble. I remember the day you were born and the excitement that comes with knowing and meeting you for the first time.  Remember the story l told you about your birth.  And remember mentioning to you what most first-time mothers experience during labor. Giving birth to you was an unforgettable experience and l am glad for that rare opportunity.  Alhamdulillah!

I am writing to remind you about your next experience in life. That is life in college.  This reminder will benefit you and every other teenager who is opportune to read this note.  I was young, a little bit above your age when l entered College and l remember my mother’s advice during that time.

Know that college can be fun and stressful.  It can be saucy and frustrating, but you shouldn’t give up on your dream. Life is not meant to be easy at all times. It is meant to be ups and down and there are days you will encounter some challenges.  So, be prepared for them.

Remember the son of whom you are and

remember that Allah keeps a watchful eye on you. A lot of things happen in college that are not in line with the way you were raised. But you must be vigilant and cautious of your surroundings.  It’s important to always put Allah first. Let Allah be your priority. Ask yourself, what does Allah say in what l am about to do?

Life without Islam and Sunnah is a complete waste. So, remember the importance we attached to the five daily prayers. Observe them at the appropriate time without leaving them till late night.  Do not leave your prayer for anything. That’s your line of communication to the Highest, Allah.  When you feel empty and life treats you unusually, call unto Allah, the Mighty.

Some of the challenges that come with college is free-mixing. Be smart enough to not entertain anyone who may want to lure you into sinning.  Part of that is shaking hands with the opposite sex.  Do not be shy to refuse any handshake from the opposite gender. The Prophet said, ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.” So, remember this. It’s also very important to lower your gaze, be mindful of looking at Haram! Allah will question us regarding our gaze, what we listen to, and how we live our lives. Avoid Music of any kind. Instead, let the Quran be your Music. Listen to it for it helps to reduce the burden on one’s heart!

Know your companion. Know the type of friends you mingle with.  Be mindful of Allah regarding this. Do not be friends with a smoker, gambler, alcoholic, and or womanizer. The Prophet said: The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof.” So, take note of this.

Always prepare yourself for exams.  Do not be a cheater and do not entertain anyone to make you become one. Study well and always aims to be on the list of the most successful ones.  There is nothing difficult to solve.  You know the kind of a mother you have. So, take after me.  Do never give up on your challenges. Call Allah, and do never leave your prayers. You have all the tools equipped with you!  Use them Oh Dear, Son!

Remember Allah, and He will never forsake you! Let your Tahajud (Night prayer) be your means of closeness to Allah and do never leave your Quran on the shelf unopened. You were not raised to be clubbing. So, be wary of joining the bad gangs. It isn’t a good life! It’s rather a sinful life! Remember death may come unannounced!  Always prepare to meet Allah!

Drive cautiously and be mindful of whom you carry in your small car.  Do not entertain anyone who will ruin your life. Know when to say No! I have seen College students who were arrested, jailed, and or become deceased due to a motor vehicle accident.  So, take note of it. Run away from getting in trouble!  Do not imitate any abnormal character from any student. Be respectful to all your professors and carry the Islamic identity in you pretty well.  Render assistance cautiously, and know to which you say, yes, or No! Be mindful of Allah, and He will always protect and guide your steps. May Allah grant you success in both worlds.

I love You, Son!  Do never be tired of asking us questions.  We will always be there to support you, positively, ln shaa Allah!

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Magic light and falling stars for science and education background

Mistakes Parents Make In Raising Children!

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESSISLAMIC ETIQUETTESMEN AND WOMEN COMPANIONS

Giving up on them: Yes, some children are difficult to raise. But once you become tired and leave them alone, you had only added more to their problems. Never give up on your child’s challenges and behavior.

Dua: This can’t be stressed enough. That you made a dua for a particular child and it hasn’t manifested in the child’s behavior doesn’t make you relent. You must continue and be hopeful that Allah will change the child.

Not rewarding a child when he does well. A child should be praised for the little he achieved and encouraged to continue the same pattern.

Not creating time for children: We have seen cases of abandonment in children. This isn’t because both parents are divorced, but because they do not care about raising and nurturing good children. The husband works Mon – Sunday and the mother is always at work. No days are left for the children. We must prioritize our time and do less overtime if we want our children to be successful in both worlds.

No importance is attached to Islamic etiquette and teaching: Children should be taught basic Islamic education. They must be raised on pristine Islam and the fear of Allah should be cultivated in them. A child whose parent doesn’t pray may find prayer strange when advised of its importance. A child should be taught about Tawheed and what it means to be dutiful to Allah and one’s parents.

When parents overlook a child’s bad manners and character: Foremost, you must know your child’s companion and no parent should ignore a child who constantly proves no manners. Correction should be made without delay and reprimanding such behaviour approrapltely is the best.

Every child is unique in their ways: Do not compare A to B. Avoid creating destructive jealousy in their minds. Talk to each child accordingly when they are wrong and do not make a comparison in front of them. That doesn’t mean l am perfect in this area, l have done it before, but it isn’t the best. It may lead to low self-esteem and depression. Caution should be taken at all times.

May add more later, ln shaa Allah. May Allah bless our children and make them successful in both worlds.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

heart-g60d06cb5f_1280

Live, Laugh & Love

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKISLAMIC ETIQUETTES

Every pregnancy comes with its challenge. And to be blessed with the fruit of the womb is Fadhl from Allah. Indeed a blessing from the Highest (Allah). While l was pregnant with my last child, as early as the last trimester, the illness l had, couldn’t be described. From emesis (vomiting) to heartburn. The food regurgitation in the middle of my sleep couldn’t ever be forgotten. When that happens, l had to struggle to catch my breath. In the long run, l resorted to sleeping in a sitting position as the pregnancy grows. Though the pregnancy hormone (progesterone) can increase heartburn, starting in the first trimester and indigestion is common in pregnancy as well.

Furthermore, pregnant women in their late second and third trimesters may experience a condition similar to superior vena cava syndrome. This occurs when the inferior vena cava (the smaller of the two veins that transport deoxygenated blood back to the heart) gets compressed by pressure from the fetus and the enlarged uterus. This is also called Supine Hypotensive syndrome. As described above, the gravid uterus compresses the inferior vena cava when a pregnant woman is in a supine position, leading to decreased venous return centrally.

Yes, l want the baby to live like the rest. I want to see her laugh and hold her tight with love. Each time l looked at the big belly, l was always scared. I was scared of myself, the baby, and my labor. I always pray that l come back home with the baby and myself alive. I was between fear and hope. Each time l woke up pregnant, l was always thankful. And l was looking forward to the day the baby will finally arrive.

Unlike some of my children, I waited for forty weeks and some days before she finally arrived. I can’t describe how the labor went. At a point, l was going to give up on pushing. But l was encouraged to never give up. One thing l didn’t give up on, was my prayer. It was my “coat”. And Allah never leaves a servant who calls Him by His name. I am thankful she had the opportunity to live, and we finally had to laugh and raise her beautiful self, with love, mercy, and care.

I pray for all TTC sisters and as well as all pregnant women reading this. May Allah ease your affairs and May He grant you a safe delivery.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
July 1st, 2022

You Remember Eid is Around the Corner?

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKISLAMIC ETIQUETTES

Indeed all power belongs to Allaah alone. Dunya is racing ahead of us. Memories take us back, while dreams take us ahead. Indeed, the life of this Dunya is nothing but temporary.

You won’t agree less with me if l say, 1438 Eid Al-Had seems to have just passed yesterday. The same way is the fact that our days are numbered on Earth.

When we were little (very small), when Eid is coming close, my Mum used to start preparing the outfit for Eid. She used to get our shoes and every other thing that goes along with it. We used to get set “mind-wise”. Too many thoughts like the get-together, the foodies, the outfits, and visits, etc…

Islam has given us more awareness of our existence in life. Islam has given us the heart to ponder, the brain to think, the mind to be prepared for death, and the tests/trials of Dunya. Islam has informed us that perhaps, while we are rejoicing that Eid is almost here, while we are thinking about the joy of that blessed day, we shouldn’t forget those who couldn’t smile like us, those who do not have food to eat on this joyous day, those who are pleading for assistance, those who have no dress to put on among men and women folks.

It’s imperative to ponder on this, same as l am doing to myself right now.

What are you giving out before Eid to make someone happy?

Who are you visiting on Eid day from the less privileged?

How about the prisoners who have said, “We can’t celebrate Eid like you”?

Would you consider them and give from what you have?

Would you call family and friends to know how you can help?

By Allaah, this post is a reminder to myself first. May Allaah grant us all the goodness on that special day. May Allaah spare our souls till then and beyond. Ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.

Eid Mubarak to you all in Advance!

Umm Sumayyah Mai
Dhul-Hijjah 7th 1439AH, Aug 2018