Muslim-Library-1.0

4 Important Lessons from Dr. Sumayyah!

by with No Comment AQEEDAH

Yesterday, l took my first daughter to the library approximately 30 minutes before closing time.  While l stayed in a private room with my laptop writing as usual, a call came in along with a text via Grandma’s phone.  Mum, this is Sumayyah, do not forget to get my books. Ok, I won’t, ln Shaa Allah, l responded.

Before l knew it, it was already 5 minutes before 9 p.m. So, l quickly went down to the children’s place to get her at least two books.  I grabbed one, and checked the back, Nah! ain’t taking this. Found another suitable one.  At this time, it was 8:57 pm, so l quickly grabbed one more for her without taking enough time to check. I took the book home and went straight to use the restroom.

Mum, this book isn’t good.  It has the LGBT thingy in it was the voice l heard.  I will not read this.  I came out and asked which of the books, and it was shown to me.  I thank Dr. Sumayyah for checking what she was about to read. And was pretty much able to detect that without delay. I was so proud of her last night.

Lessons Learned:

  1. It’s important to always check any books we plan to give our children no matter the circumstances. That was a great lesson for me last night. Wouldn’t repeat it.
  2. The importance of teaching your children the Halal and the Haram can’t be stressed enough.
  3. I have written articles on this, and each time l do, l teach my children first and foremost, and l always make sure l create awareness on issues that are affecting our community as Muslims.
  4. Do not think a child is too small to be taught the evil that goes around the world. The more they know, the better it is for their Islam and personalities. May Allah continue to protect us and our children.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Productivity

Channel Your Grief into Productivity

by with No Comment AQEEDAHHEALTH AND FITNESS

Yes, everyone gets the fact that you have been tried. That Allah put you through a huge trauma that is hard to swallow. We understand the effect on your mental and spiritual health. And we know for a fact that you are frustrated and depressed.

I think it’s important to know that the whole issue isn’t really about you alone. It’s also about your loved ones, family and friends. It’s about you not crossing the limit of Allah. The Prophet (may Allah be pleased with him) is a great example for us with every challenge that comes our way.  This is a nobleman who lost his wife, and children when he least expected.  How about the pains and suffering he encountered during battles?

I have come to realize the effect of losing a loved one places on women.  And especially our Muslim sisters. Though, very saddening to say the least.  But, it’s essential to know what to do and how productive you can become if you are put on the same trial.

  1. You must believe in Qadar. Accept the fact that it’s Allah’s doing.
  2. You need to breathe. Take a deep breath. Cry it out. Cry, yes, cry and cry out your pain.
  3. Get help as soon as possible. You can request to visit a behavioral unit in the nearest hospital.
  4. Let the attending physician know you are feeling awkward. And you feel like taking your life.
  5. Use strong emotions to increase your productivity.
  6. Express your pain. Speak with someone. Talk about who your loved one was while on Earth.
  7. Channel your strength to what you love doing most. Learn to rediscover yourself.
  8. Choose your grieving skills and scopes. Refrain from dwelling too much on your grief.
  9. You can dedicate the pain and frustration to seeking knowledge and or exercising.
  10. You can start a campaign and talk to people who were once in your shoes and learn their coping mechanisms.
  11. You can choose to write a story about your loss. You can also publish a book to that effect and or create an avenue where you can lend your voice to people with suicidal ideation.

Dear Muslimah, you may not know how strong and deep-rooted you are in faith until you are afflicted with trials and tribulations.  So, it’s important to remember to always hold still when trial strikes. One of those who will sympathize with you either positively or negatively, aside from your loved ones is Shaytain.  So be ready to pass Allah’s test and not give in to Shaytain’s plot.

He is the one who whispers in your ears that the end is now. He may begin to ask you the reason why you still want to live when your husband is gone. So, surround yourself with the Quran and pious people. Gradually, you will overcome the pain.  The truth is, you will feel the heaviness on your chest. The pain is real. But your reward awaits.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Suicide 2

I Want to Commit Suicide, Why?

by Uncategorized

This has been the statement of many sisters who are going through Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and the outside world.

When someone tells you, l want to commit suicide, your first question is why? Yes, why? Perhaps, at that point, you want to hear their rationales; and you definitely will want to settle for open-ended questions. It is important to know that a lot of people are going through some kind of trauma that affects them emotionally and psychologically. Do not just think or say, how could she allow herself to be used by Shaytaan like that? Perhaps, it is more than you think. It is beyond them at some point. All they ever wanted was to speak with someone and share their pain.

It is hard for most of them to forget and let go just like that. It’s hard for them to witness their parents being murdered and it is hard for them to forget the description of the man who had raped and abused them. It is hard for them to forget the spot and the injury inflicted in the process. None of them with this diagnosis ever forget the incident.

To the one going through some of the aforementioned plights, l want to remind you that indeed Allaah ‘Azza Wa Jall knows why certain things happen to certain people. He knows what you do not know. He, Allaah takes and gives. He does as He wills and as destined. Do not take your life for the trauma you have suffered and the pain you have gone through. Do not because someone had abused you sexually and physically take your life. Do not because someone has taken the life of your loved one to commit suicide. For by Allaah, you are better than them. You are blessed by Allaah. Allaah gave you many things to be thankful for. He gave you wisdom and a large heart. He gave you a tongue full of gratitude and a very inspiring soul. Life is a test, we all face it, some of us passed the trial while many of us failed woefully. Yet, we couldn’t take our souls for it. We didn’t fall for Shaytaan’s trap, because, we couldn’t afford to commit suicide. We can’t afford to lose our Jannah for the test of Dunya. Be strong and surround yourself with strong people. Today may be challenging, but ln sha Allaah tomorrow is promising.

Let’s always be there for them. Be there for your sister in faith and be there for your lover in pain. Be there and let them lean on you. Let them know Dunya is temporary and Allaah has created a test/trial for a purpose. The purpose includes knowing who you are in the sight of Allah and the test that includes raising your status when you become patient and persevere when trial strikes. Be thankful my dear sister, and always remember that Allah doesn’t wrong anyone. May Allah ease your affairs.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 24th, 2019

Judgement Day

IF JUDGEMENT DAY IS NOW!

by with No Comment AQEEDAH

Then, l will be naked along with many males and females; uncircumcised, barefoot, and waiting for my judgment. The result of what l did in Dunya. I will not be able to see if sister Maryam is not putting on underwear, nor will I have the time to check if Brother Lukman has covered his private part. I, along with many other people will be overwhelmed. Waiting, waiting, and waiting in fear and humiliation.

I will be waiting under the scorching sun. And l will be sweating until my turn is reached and or perhaps until my name is called. I will not be able to look for my “Treasured Love.”  Nor will l be asking for my children. I alongside many other people will at that time, restless, tired, scared, and scattered. I will not remember my siblings nor will l look out for my parents.

“I will be more shocked, surprised, and scared when the contents of graves become scattered. And the sky breaks apart. And the stars fall, scattering. And the heaven split open.  I will be more scared when my hands and feet begin to speak of what they used to earn. Of what l do with them while l was on the surface of the earth.”

And l, alongside many other people (male & female), will be brought to account for every major and minor action we did in this world, whether it was good or bad. And we will be rewarded for our good deeds and perhaps be questioned about our bad deeds. I am scared and scared penning this down, right now.

And when the “Lord of the Majestic throne say to the Angels, Look at My slave’s prayer, is it complete or lacking?’ If it is complete, it will be recorded as complete, but if it is lacking, He will say, ‘Look and see whether my slave did any voluntary (naafil) prayers.’ If he had done voluntary prayers, He would say, ‘Complete the obligatory prayers of My slave from his voluntary prayers.’ Then the rest of his deeds will be examined similarly.”

And we would be asked about other matters. At this point, l do not know what l will be saying. And perhaps, the answers l will give when these five questions are asked:  “My life and how l spent it, my youth and how l used it, my wealth and how l earned it, and how l disposed of it, and how l acted upon what l acquired of knowledge.”

Oh Allah! Do not humiliate me on the day of judgment. Oh Allah! do not put me to shame on the day of the greatest fear. Oh Allah! conceal all my faults. Oh, Allah erase all my sins. Oh Allah! do not disgrace us. Oh Allah! Be merciful with us, overlook our shortcomings, and grant us steadfastness upon your Deen! Ya Rabbal ‘A’alaameen!

Challenges

For Every Challenges That Come Your Way

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Let me share with you how l deal with my challenges. Gone are the days when l allow anything to weigh me down. I have outgrown that a long time ago. I was able to do so because every Muslim should avoid being sad for Shaitain. Once you are sad, Shaitan will be happy and he will find all possible ways to enter you, negatively. This is because he knows you are vulnerable at that time.

So, l have learned to accept my challenges and beautifully deal with them. I know it will come, so l have always prepared myself to be steadfast and cry to my LORD whenever anything displeasing comes my way. I also have this strong mindset that Allah hasn’t left His throne, so, He will not leave me to myself – that everything will be fine at the end of the day. And l will eventually overcome it, ln shaa Allah.

While l continue to work towards resolving the issue in my little way, and with my frequent prayers; l still believe strongly in Allah – that, He will not forsake me. So, it has always been a positive outcome after all the trials and tribulations. You tie your camel first and ask Allah to keep a watch over it. We must always be ready to face our challenges. May Allah ease our affairs.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Jilbaab

Niqab is Not a Symbol of Oppression

by with No Comment FIQHHEART-TO-HEART TALK

To many non-believers and some ignorant Muslims; those who put on a niqab (face veil) are the ugliest among people of the universe. Some people, even among Muslims believe niqab wearers are the most backward people of all ages. Some even think they might not be able to construct or speak simple and common English, let alone read a poet’s book.

The niqab is not a symbol of oppression. I am a munaqabbah (wearer of face veil). I have never for once been forced into it. I have never been threatened to wear it. No one has ever denied me my right from among family and friends. Not even my husband.

It baffles me to see that some people in the world we live in, really, and truly have to dictate the kind of shoes l put on, the type of clothes l choose to wear, and how l supposed to wear them. I think common sense, and the fact that l have been given the privilege to know right from wrong is seriously enough. The fact that l can choose Aakhirah (Paradise) over Dunya is something I am grateful for. That l am an adult who has the same rights as everyone is enough. The fact that l am a woman raised with dignity and honor should be enough for anyone who sees me as a stranger amidst others.

My father, while we were growing up taught us many things. He raised us to always respect others, and to never deprive anyone of their rights. I recall those days he used to put me on his lap and ask me to read books to his ears. But, he told me many things which l didn’t forget. That: you are a brave girl, and Allaah has given you wisdom. You must never let anyone take your right away from you. You are a precious being and you must never give up on what belongs to you. Keep doing what you are doing, it eventually pays.

There is absolutely something to get just right in our thoughts. A woman who chooses to maintain her faith and beliefs deserves some respect and honor. I strongly believe it is her right to do what she likes with her body, just as it is for other women folks who dress as they please. It is her right to go around with her body covered based on her beliefs and her religious rights. I am sure, none of us would wish someone to take away our pride and of course our honor.

The niqab isn’t a symbol of oppression by the fact that we are not restricted to what we can do as ladies in veil. We have many of us who are doctors, the writer is a Registered Nurse. Many of us are in various sectors, perhaps you are not aware of it. We have among us who are teachers, lawyers, economists, and engineers to list but a few. Using a face veil hasn’t restricted us from getting into these enviable professions. We are still on top of our games. We wouldn’t give up, not even for a second.

Consequently, our contributions to the growth of our society shouldn’t be overlooked. We are indeed among those who are selfless when it comes to assisting the society at large. Do not interfere with our faith and beliefs. It’s our right and our pride.
So, l advise you to ask if you are confused. Let us respect other’s rights and religion. l am not sure someone (adult) needs to be taught how she dresses, especially if she chooses to cover her beautiful body from every Jack and Harry. The hate speech needs to stop. The frustration and molestation of our sisters in niqaab need to stop. Women who choose to wear the veil should be given their due rights. Let there be justice in all we do and allow us to practise our faith as enshrined in the shari’ah.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Behinde

Oh Women, Be Grateful!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

One thing l hate to do is to be ungrateful. I appreciate people and especially my husband. I saw a post of a woman whose husband gives 4k daily but still laments. Well, l do not know her situation, and it may not be enough for her and perhaps her kids. But it’s important to appreciate the little your husband gives. It may not be enough but try to show gratitude and pray for him. Such a man will love you and strive hard to always make you happy and eventually increase the money.

Things are very hard and costly, but, it’s always important to appreciate the little you are given and find your way around getting more. I will take what you give first and appreciate you, even if it isn’t enough. I will even call your children to say thank you, Dad. Life is hard. It’s not easy everywhere. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes!

Ten Marriage

Believing Women Should Be Honored!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Whilst we advise the womenfolk to stay in their marriage, to be patient, and to persevere for the sake of Allah, it’s also crucial that our men treat them with love and affection. You must try to treat her with utmost care and protect her honor both in the private and public domain.

You do not speak ill of your woman. Neither do you leave her unhappy simply because there is another woman in your life? Every woman is unique in their ways. And believing women deserve to be treated with mercy and love. Our menfolk should always be there to make their woman happy regardless of their circumstances. Do your best and let Allah judge between you both after you have tried your best. But to leave them without care is against the practice of our noble Prophet. May Allah be pleased with him.

There are men, and there are other men. Men, who are faithful and Godfearing; and men who do not give a damn come what may. May Allah grant us the former and not the latter. May He ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

sleep-3857083_1280

Believing Women Should Be Snored!

by with No Comment MARRIAGEMEN AND WOMEN COMPANIONS

Whilst we advise the womenfolk to stay in their marriage, to be patient, and to persevere for the sake of Allah, it’s also crucial that our men treat them with love and affection.  You must try to treat her with utmost care and protect her honor both in the private and public domain.

You do not speak ill of your woman.  Neither do you leave her unhappy simply because there is another woman in your life?  Every woman is unique in their ways. And believing women deserve to be treated with mercy and love. Our menfolk should always be there to make their woman happy regardless of their circumstances.  Do your best and let Allah judge between you both after you have tried your best.  But to leave them without care is against the practice of our noble Prophet. May Allah be pleased with him.

There are men, and there are other men.  Men, who are faithful and Godfearing; and men who do not give a damn come what may.  May Allah grant us the former and not the latter.  May He ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

The Men

I Met Some Revert Sisters

by with No Comment AQEEDAHFIQH

I met some revert sisters somewhere in Baltimore Mosque today; and l wish l have the time to teach them basic lslam. I had introduced myself as Majeedah’ and also confirmed they were new to the religion of lslam.
While I stopped them after the prayer to say one or two things, l also directed them to seek for more knowledge on how to pray. l was about to take my leave when a sister who had initially assisted most of us introduced herself as a Q’uran teacher in the Masjid. And she expressed her gratitude for what l did. So, l was happy someone will direct these new beautiful sisters accordingly. If you see something, it’s always crucial to say something especially when it comes to the religion of Allah. I feel like we have a lot to do in this deen of ours. So, when Allah ask how we impact to others, we would have something to say, positively, bi’idhniLlaah!
I shared contact with sister Z’ and l pray Allah reward her with Jannah. Indeed, she has a lot of work to do. May Allah bless all the beautiful new revert and guide their steps to enter the Deen completely. May He accept it from them all and grant them steadfastness upon the religion.