The Blessings Bestowed Upon Us: A Test of Gratitude and Faith

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As Muslims, we often view blessings as a source of joy, comfort, and prosperity. We pray for blessings, work hard to attain them, and express gratitude when they are bestowed upon us. However, the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) remind us that blessings can also be a test of our faith, gratitude, and character.

In Surah Al-A’raf, Allah says: “And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” (Quran 7:31)

This verse highlights the idea that blessings, like trials, are a means of testing our faith and resolve. When we are blessed with wealth, health, or success, we are tested to see how we will use these blessings, whether we will be grateful or arrogant, and whether we will remember Allah or forget Him.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The servant does not attain true faith until he becomes pleased with Allah as his Lord, Islam as his religion, and Muhammad as his Prophet.” (Hadith)

This hadith emphasizes the importance of being content and grateful for the blessings we receive, rather than taking them for granted or becoming arrogant. When we are blessed, we should recognize that these blessings come from Allah and are a manifestation of His mercy and favor.

So, how can we pass the test of blessings? Here are a few reminders:

1. Be grateful: Express your gratitude to Allah for the blessings you receive. Remember that blessings are a gift from Allah, and acknowledging this gift is essential to maintaining a healthy and humble relationship with Him.

2. Use blessings wisely: Use the blessings you receive to benefit yourself, your family, and your community. Invest your wealth, share your knowledge, and use your talents to make a positive impact on the world.

3. Remember Allah: When you are blessed, remember Allah and recognize that these blessings come from Him. Do not forget to pray, fast, and give charity, as these acts of worship help to maintain a strong connection with Allah.

4. Be humble: Avoid becoming arrogant or proud when you are blessed. Recognize that blessings can be taken away at any moment, and that true wealth and success come from Allah alone.

In conclusion, the blessings bestowed upon us are indeed a test of our faith, gratitude, and character. By being grateful, using blessings wisely, remembering Allah, and remaining humble, we can pass this test and demonstrate our commitment to living a life that is pleasing to Allah.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Be Mindful of Your Media Consumption

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Oh, Young Sisters!

Be mindful of your media consumption to protect your faith, values, and well-being. Remember, dear sisters, you are the future leaders and representatives of our Ummah!

Be cautious of whom you follow on social media, and don’t be carried away by the number of followers you’ve acquired. Fame can be a trial (fitnah) for you, and pursuing it may endanger your Deen and Aqeedah.

Listen when corrected, and avoid arrogance and pride. Uphold the flag of Islam with love, pride, and dignity. Don’t follow the crowd; instead, be firm and steadfast.

Seek beneficial knowledge that illuminates your path and guides you. Learn how to speak, when to speak, and be mindful of your words.

May Allah guide and protect you all.

 

Your sister,

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Reflection on Motherhood,

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As I reflect on motherhood, I think of those mothers who fast and pray fervently for their children’s success. I’m sure there are many women like that. One valuable lesson my mother taught us was to mention our children’s names during prayers. I’ve made it a habit to do so, asking Allah to protect them from harm.

As parents, we face challenges while raising our children. It’s essential to have open and honest conversations with them. Sometimes, we need to be firm and direct; other times, diplomatic and gentle. Many parents have found success with both approaches.

Children should be taught to respect their parents and learn manners and accountability. Unfortunately, many young lives are affected by peer pressure. As parents, it’s our responsibility to guide them correctly. These children are novices who deserve proper guidance.

We should encourage them, saying, ‘I believe in you, and you can do better.’ Let’s instill confidence in them, reminding them that they’re capable of achieving anything. With determination and faith, they’ll succeed, bihi”dhiniLlaah!

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Be An Attractive Spouse

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Being an attractive spouse goes beyond physical appearance. It’s about cultivating qualities that make your partner feel loved, appreciated, and cherished.

I think it’s also very crucial that you and your partner prioritize quality time, surprise each other with small gestures, and keep the spark alive.

Dear, create time to enjoy your marriage. Life shouldn’t always be about work, work, and work. And marriage shouldn’t be boring all the time. Live to enjoy what you have and that’s your spouse. Live to forgive one another and move on from your past. Leave that baggage behind and learn to hug and kiss your spouse before he leaves the house for work.

As we grow in marriage, we become better. And that should be reflected in our dealings with one another. See, no one should love him or her better than you. Be an attractive dude! Remember, being an attractive spouse is not about being perfect; it’s about being present, genuine, and loving. By embracing these qualities, you will become an irresistible partner and strengthen your bond. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai.

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Love, Respect & Compromise 

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I have heard people say you can’t always be spiritual and serious all the time in your marriage. Meaning that: there should be an avenue for play, laughter, and fun. Couples should know and put that into perspective. Your spouse needs your attention – they want you to pay due attention to them. Marriage comes with compromise, sacrifice, and great efforts to make it work. But, what you want to compromise shouldn’t go against the limit set by Allah – like Kufr. 

Be vulnerable with your spouse. They are your partners. Take things easy even when you argue on issues. Arguments are good sometimes when done healthily. Have listening ears and show some sympathy. Your spouse may never know what’s going on with you if you don’t speak up. It’s necessary to ask and when asked to speak your mind for a better solution.

Marriage is a place of love and tranquility. Love is needed for the union to grow and succeed. Both partners must avoid external forces and concentrate on the foundation of their marriage – which is love and mercy. Sometimes, without these two, the marriage may not last longer.

Respect is indeed earned as people say, but more importantly one of the rights of your husband. Every man loves to be respected regardless of their status – either rich or poor. Women also deserve it. They want your love and appreciation.

In all, married people are twice as likely to be happy with their lives than those who are not married. Marriage is good for your mental health and it enhances individual well-being. It however comes with some challenges and never a bed of roses. How you handle it matters a lot.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

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If you have been married for some years now, you will notice that after say two or three years of your marriage, the love drops a bit and this is more obvious if you have a child. You tend to pay attention to things you would have overlooked in the first two years of your marriage.

Many of us forget the good old days and the memories we once shared. Our expectations of how we want our spouses to behave are so high that we forget to show empathy when they are down. Perhaps, these are things we can control with our efforts but refuse to. Loving them for who they are, focusing on what you have without comparing them with anyone.

Couples who are supposed to go for marriage therapy and call for mediation begin to see the faults of each other, negatively. Some take days to speak about the challenges they are facing – forgetting that the more you leave the issue the bigger and more difficult it becomes. Thereby making marriage difficult.

It’s crucial to identify the root of the anger and frustration you are both having – getting to know the root is crucial in resolving it. Yes, it is allowed to speak your mind and express your anger and frustration. What you shouldn’t do is to be suspicious of him or her and perhaps engage in the habit of not sleeping in the same bed due to that. Marriage is hard work. I mean real hard work.

To be continued…

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Training The Girls

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Naturally, l am someone who cares about others. Let alone not being kind to my visitors. One thing l always do is to try to give my best to my visitors. I learned that from my mother.

The other night, l was up cooking for my brother-in-law who was coming from the United Kingdom and l went to bed pretty late. I told the girls this is called sacrifice – sacrificing your sleep for the sake of Allah to put a smile on your visitor.

Earlier that day, my husband called me while at work that my brother-in-law would arrive the next day and l was like, Chai! I have work in the morning. But l need to prepare a delicious meal. So, l got home that evening, ate, prayed, and headed to the kitchen. I made a beautiful Jollof rice and nicely fried meat roasted in a spicy chopped stew. It was a blast! I love it.

I went to sleep and still got up for work the next day. I told the girls this is how you do it. It is called sacrifice. Your visitor or visitors deserve the best from you. You must allow them to come back
again. There is always joy in doing things right for me. How you treat your visitors matters.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Be Persistent in Your Prayers

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None of those prayers you say will ever go in vain. Allah listens, and He listens to your prayers and cries. I have heard and listened to parents who are on the verge of giving up on their wards. A statement like, “l am tired, l can’t come and die because of a child.” No, the child is a ‘trust’ from Allah. You must do all it takes to make him or her responsible. Never give up on a stubborn child.

A stubborn child can indeed make one life miserable, but, giving up on such a child may have a long time effect. And that effect wouldn’t just be on the child alone, but also on the parent. So, it’s important to keep pushing with proper counseling, and prayers, and firmly stand your ground.

In the end, you will have a good story to share.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Memory Bank for the Kids

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The last place l drove to with the kids was North Carolina. Today, June 29th, l was supposed to have been on the road driving to New York. But, l told them to allow me to sleep this morning. Let me be the one that wakes up myself. I was at work yesterday.  

It’s going to be a month of summer holiday for them and each summer we plan to go somewhere, book a hotel, have fun and return after 3 or 4 days. I have loved doing it with the kids. I always look forward to it each summer.

It’s important to create a memory bank for the kids, aside from the Deen if you have the means. Let them remember days like that when they grow up. I heard my kids talking about each state we had driven to for holidays and l always felt special about it. I am happy they were given every fun they deserved. However, l do not want to do more than 9 hrs drive. That’s kinda enough for me

Look, you do not have to go to New York or whatever, you can create a time for your kids as well. Take them out to an ice cream shop, let them go to a halal restaurant, and have halal fun. May Allah enrich us all. Let me see if my New York trip will work out today or not. May Allah ease all of our affairs.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

My Prayer to My First Daughter

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Your children will take good care of you too. That was my prayer to my first daughter last night after she washed, cleansed, and combed my hair beautifully. The hair is set to be done today by her, lnn Shaa Allah.

I was so relaxed with a towel on my neck having her do the great work on my head. See, it’s good to have a girl child. And it’s crucial to raise your children well. Try your best to invest in them. They are indeed your priority as a mother. May Allah protect them from all evil. Amyin!

Umm Sumayyah Mai