You Remember Eid is Around the Corner?

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKISLAMIC ETIQUETTES

Indeed all power belongs to Allaah alone. Dunya is racing ahead of us. Memories take us back, while dreams take us ahead. Indeed, the life of this Dunya is nothing but temporary.

You won’t agree less with me if l say, 1438 Eid Al-Had seems to have just passed yesterday. The same way is the fact that our days are numbered on Earth.

When we were little (very small), when Eid is coming close, my Mum used to start preparing the outfit for Eid. She used to get our shoes and every other thing that goes along with it. We used to get set “mind-wise”. Too many thoughts like the get-together, the foodies, the outfits, and visits, etc…

Islam has given us more awareness of our existence in life. Islam has given us the heart to ponder, the brain to think, the mind to be prepared for death, and the tests/trials of Dunya. Islam has informed us that perhaps, while we are rejoicing that Eid is almost here, while we are thinking about the joy of that blessed day, we shouldn’t forget those who couldn’t smile like us, those who do not have food to eat on this joyous day, those who are pleading for assistance, those who have no dress to put on among men and women folks.

It’s imperative to ponder on this, same as l am doing to myself right now.

What are you giving out before Eid to make someone happy?

Who are you visiting on Eid day from the less privileged?

How about the prisoners who have said, “We can’t celebrate Eid like you”?

Would you consider them and give from what you have?

Would you call family and friends to know how you can help?

By Allaah, this post is a reminder to myself first. May Allaah grant us all the goodness on that special day. May Allaah spare our souls till then and beyond. Ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.

Eid Mubarak to you all in Advance!

Umm Sumayyah Mai
Dhul-Hijjah 7th 1439AH, Aug 2018

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I Want to Commit Suicide, Why?

by with No Comment FIQHHEART-TO-HEART TALK

This has been the statement of many sisters who are going through (PTSD). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and the outside world.

When someone tells you, l want to commit suicide, your first question is why?, Yes, why? Perhaps, at that point, you want to hear their rationales; and you definitely will want to settle for open-ended questions. It’s important to know that a lot of people are going through some kind of trauma that is affecting them emotionally and psychologically. Do not just think or say, how could she allow herself to be used by Shaytaan like that? Perhaps, it’s more than you think. It’s beyond them at some point. All they ever wanted is to speak with someone and share their pain with you.

It’s hard for most of them to forget and let go just like that. It’s hard for them to witness their parents being murdered and it’s hard for them to forget the description of the man who had raped and abused them. It’s hard for them to forget the spot and the injury incurred in the process. Not a single one of them with this diagnosis ever forgets the incident.

To the one going through some of my aforementioned plights, l want to remind you that indeed Allaah Azza Wa Jall knows why certain things happen to certain people. He knows what you do not know. He Allah takes and gives. He does as He wills and as destined. Do not take your life for the trauma you had suffered and the pain you had incurred. Do not because someone has abused you sexually and physically take your life. Do not because someone had taken the life of your loved one to commit suicide. For by Allaah, you are better than them. You are blessed by Allaah. Allah gave you many things to be thankful for. He gave you wisdom and a large heart. He gave you a tongue full of gratitude and a very inspiring soul. Life is a test, we all face it, some of us pass the trial while many of us failed woefully. Yet, we couldn’t take our souls for it. We didn’t fall into Shaytaan’s trap, because, we can’t afford to commit suicide. We can’t afford to lose our Jannah for the test of dunyah. Be strong and surround yourself with strong people. Today may be challenging, but ln shaa Allaah tomorrow is promised.

Let’s always be there for them. Be there for your sister in faith and be there for your lover in pain. Be there and let them lean on you. Let them know Dunya is temporary and Allaah has created a test/trial for a purpose. The purpose includes knowing who you are in the sight of Allah and the test that includes raising your status when you become patient and persevere when trial strikes.

We lost a good boy of 15yrs on Friday and he was buried on Saturday. This is a boy who had become a Hafiz when he was close to 13yrs. Here we are crying and pondering. Here we are thinking about ourselves, and how we will end our lives. Let’s always be thankful. Let’s always know Allah doesn’t wrong anyone. May Allah ease all of our affairs.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 24th, 2019

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Stinginess is a Disease

by with No Comment FIQHHEART-TO-HEART TALK

For a stingy man, it isn’t just about money, he may also be stingy with emotion and care. Sometimes, he might be stingy at home and be generous outside the home. A stingy person wouldn’t know the pain and suffering he is putting his family into.

Being stingy is not sacrificing for your family. Being stingy is not taking care of your family. Being stingy is leaving your responsibility for a woman to take charge.

Some men think because their wives have some little change, they will be fine, so they don’t have to worry about their responsibilities. What l learned from those ugly scenarios is simply that, they have subjected the woman to become a man in broad daylight, she is forced to do what a man is supposed to be doing. She is forced to stand in the position of a man and take care of her children herself. This happens because the stingy man has the mindset that she will be fine. She will do it. She has money to do that. The stingy man doesn’t know he is hurting her emotionally and she is not pleased with him internally. She goes through cracking her brain on how to make sure things are in order while the stingy man succeeds in making her run bankrupt. Debt over debt and worries over worries.

Allah sees those who spend on their family hoping to be rewarded by Him. There is nothing you spend on your family except that Allaah increases your wealth and accepts it from you as an act of ibadah. Real men don’t leave their responsibilities to a woman. Real men also tend to appreciate their wives’ generosity and efforts.

It is good to spend on your family, do not make it the wife’s responsibility. If you have #5,000 don’t keep it out of being stingy because you saw that your wife has #4000 and so you were hoping she should be fine. Give from what you have, women who are generous spend beyond and Allaah hasn’t ever shut the gate of mercy on them. This is why they become richer than their men. Her man is stingy, in that case, she is generous and Allaah blesses her hustle the more. It is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no day on which people wake up but two angels come down. One of them says, ‘O Allaah, compensate anyone who spends’ and the other says, ‘O Allaah, destroy the one who withholds.’” (Bukhaari)

Spend on your family. Do not be a stingy man, stinginess is a disease and it won’t make you successful if you knew. Worst are those who know the woman can’t even help herself, and talk less about her children. Take care of your responsibilities according to your capacity. Do not leave your responsibility to your woman. There is a difference in knowing you don’t have, and there is a pain in knowing you are being stingy and perhaps in knowing you spend your money outside the home forgetting your priority. May Allaah ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 17th, 2019

Renew Your Intention, Hijab Isn’t Just a Choice!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Recently, there have been some controversies among some sisters l watched on YouTube on whether Hijab is a choice or Allah’s commandment. I have heard many stories that are touching from our sisters. Some have been seen removing their Hijabs in broad daylight while they claimed Hijab is a choice one can make and not be forced on anyone. I have also seen a terrible situation with the same Hijab worn by a non-believer who wanted us to go to hell no matter our concerns.

Sincerely, it is important to admit the fact that the Hijab isn’t an easy task for some of our sisters in the deen, as such, those who are fortunate among us to wear the Hijab as ordered by Allah should count ourselves lucky. We all started somewhere, and that’s the more reason why l appreciate any sister l see in the Hijab, no matter the size of it. The fact that you begin to use it gives you credit from Allah and indeed an honor from men.

Hijab isn’t just a choice you can make. You can’t choose to wear it. Hijab is one aspect of our deen as Muslimahs that is crucial and never to be misunderstood as a mere choice. Of course, we all have a choice to choose to work hard and gain Allah’s pleasure and mercy and enter Jannah as our final abode. We also have a choice to ignore the true calls of Prophethood and enter Jahannam (Na’udubillah min dhaalik). The choice is ours. But, it should be well understood that Hijab is a commandment, an order from Allah Azza Wa Jal.

If you happen not to be a wearer of the Hijab at the moment and you want to start wearing it, it is imperative to know what Allah and Rasoolullah say about Hijab and the commandment and purify your intention. That way, you already have ample knowledge of your initial thought and the rationale for wanting to choose to please Allah and your soul. So, it will be easy to know the gravity of taking it off afterward.

As Muslimahs, we are not to follow the crowd and encourage evil, but we should know where we stand and have true knowledge of what we do. We should be able to defend our honor and pride anywhere and at any moment. We shouldn’t also blame anyone, but it’s important to pray for them and seek Allah’s aid for not going astray ourselves.

As for those sisters, who have taken off their Hijabs (big or small), l advise you to renew your intention and seek more knowledge of your deen. Perhaps obeying Allah’s order may be your means of Jannah, little do you know. Seek help from Allaah, and choose a good companion. Read and listen to those who are calling you to goodness and always remember the severity of Allah’s punishment when we go out of orders. Also, remember how merciful Allah is when we obey his orders. May Allah rectify our affairs.

Yaa Muqallibal Quloob Thabit Quluubana ‘Alaa Deenik.
“Oh turner of the hearts (Allah, the Highest), keep our hearts firm on your religion“

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 17th, 2020

LOSING YOUR FAITH

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Many things can make people lose faith without knowing it.

If you are the type that only calls on Allah during difficulty, you may likely forget to exercise patience when the trial strikes you.

If you are the one who loves Dunyah more than Deen, you may likely start to lose your faith when you are put to the test.

If you are the one who is always ungrateful, and not contented, you may lose your faith when the fortunes are taken away from you.

If you are the one who never thanks Allah for peace and harmony in your marriage, you may tend to lose your faith when marital conflict surfaces.

If you are the one who loves people more than Allah and His prophet, you may lose your faith when something happens to them.

If you are the type who put people before Allah, Yes, you may lose your faith when they turn their back on you.

So, be grateful at all times.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

RAISING BETTER CHILDREN COMES WITH A VERY HUGE SACRIFICE

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

Regardless of the child’s gender, raising a better child comes with sacrificing your sleep, your time, and paying attention to details. Sometimes, l do ask how my mother did it, how my precious mother was able to raise all of us by herself. Subhanallaah!!

Indeed, l have since agreed that mothers are priceless. Yes, good mothers deserved to be celebrated every single day. it’s important to take after them so that one doesn’t regret it. I have seen ‘sheghe’ when it comes to raising children. It’s not an easy task. But, it’s a job that will fetch you goodness in this life, and when you meet your lord (Allah).

Mothers, raise your daughters well. And do not leave your son out of the picture. This is the time to sacrifice your sleep and give total care and attention to these youngsters. By Allah, they need to be monitored and nurtured well. My mother will say, relax, allow them to do the cooking. No matter the turnout.

Allow your children to clean their bedrooms and scrub the bathrooms. Not the house help. Allow them to take showers early in the morning and brush their teeth pretty well before eating.

Let them do their laundry and hang their clothes appropriately. Please, do not be tired of nurturing them. A child will grow up in the manner in which she is raised.

I hate to see a child sit in an environment where the floor is nasty, dirty, and untidy. I can’t stand it. My kids know that. I don’t want to raise a child someone will ask, who is your mother? So, it comes with a very huge sacrifice and prayers. May Allah assist us to raise good children. May they all be successful.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

CHILD TARBIYYAH (TUESDAY)

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Often time when we see children who grew up in a well-nurtured Islamic home, it takes little time to know such children are raised upon the Sunnah of Islam and the book of Allah (Al-Qu’ran). They are easily differentiated by the knowledge bestowed upon them by Allah. The efforts of their parents are prominent and their sacrifices are rewarded.

The truth is that everything comes with hard work and prayers. We are to tire our camel and ask Allah for protection afterward. It’s very important to make a solid plan and know how to shoot your shot. It’s imperative to start well, not starting well brings about regret. Do all it takes to choose the right spouse for your humble self and plan well for your children. Tell yourself l want to raise the best children on earth. I want to raise a Shayk who will follow pristine Islam and guides others to the truth. A son who will sleep and wake up with the Quran. I want to raise a Muslimah who will follow in the footsteps of the great Sahabiyyats.

I want to raise children who will remember me in my grave. I want to raise better children with good manners and excellent characters. I want to raise children who will raise the best children upon the Deen Al-Islam.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

THE JUDGEMENT OF ALLAH

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

I watched the video clip of today’s court judgment of the late Timothy’s case that almost tear social media apart some years ago, and l concluded that indeed the judgment of Allah is more severe than that. The pain and agony of the hellfire couldn’t be imagined. May Allah save us from entering hellfire.

So, my take on the issue is to take care of my affairs with Allah, both inwardly and outwardly – my meeting with Him and to prepare for what to expect when l finally return to my LORD. To continue to seek His face and always ask for forgiveness for all my horrible, terrible sins which are filled to the brim. So help me, Allah.

The life of Dunya is temporary and It’s always important to remember that you will not live here forever. So, tread carefully; and do not wrong your sister. If she didn’t get her judgment in this life, she will get it from you on the day of judgment. Know what you do and say behind your fellow sisters’ backs before death overtakes you, and you’d regretted you wronged a sister who doesn’t even know you exist. May Allah make us among His sincere ones.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

PAYING MAHR

by with No Comment AQEEDAH
[6:47 am, 14/06/2023] SYO BYTES: In our in house discussion this morning, Shayk read in the hadith book of Sahih Al- Bukhari: Ash-Shighar. (Exchange of daughters or sisters in marriage without paying Mahr). Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) forbade Ash-Shighar, which means that somebody marries his daughter to somebody else, and the latter marries his daughter to the former without paying Mahr.

So, I directed my question to the girls: What is Mahr (Bride Price)?. I got a good response and l added, women are honored creatures of Allah. And you see, this is why Allah warned against Zinna and having a boyfriend of any kind. A Muslim child doesn’t sell her private part to boys. She doesn’t allow any man to either touch her, shake her hands or have intimacy with her until they are pronounced husband and wife. So, we must take caution and stick with the Sunnah. I also said a woman can request anything she wants from her to be husband as long as He can afford it.

Sadly, some women have not been given their Mahr after 5 years of marriage. We need to fear Allah in this regard and do better. If the prophet could frown upon this, what of Allah Azza Wa Jall. Pay your wife her Mahr if you haven’t. May Allah bless you.

Umm Sumayyah Mai.
February 4th, 2022
[6:48 am, 14/06/2023] SYO BYTES: BE KIND TO PEOPLE!

Regardless of who the person is, always show kindness towards others. It beautifies you as a person and brings light to your face and heart.

I entered the store yesterday after a long drive to Washington DC with two of my girls. Upon entering, l think we have picked one or two items and we were going to the other side for the rest of the things we needed only for us to see a man whose items were dropping and scattering on the floor from the shopping cart. I immediately informed Sumayyah to go get the items from the back while l helped picked up from the front. My other daughter who was pushing the cart behind us immediately stopped the cart and joined in the process.

We were surprised when the man said ‘Tasleem’ to us and he further said Jazakhumllahu Khyran. More shocking was when he asked ‘Sumayyah’, do you go to Al-Huda School? My son does too. Perhaps, this is due to the uniform she had on. I was wowed, to say the least. So, this man is a Muslim, and also a parent in my children’s school as well. What a life! What an act of kindness! What a good act toward others!

Yes, we didn’t know he was a Muslim, and neither do we know his son attended the same school as my children. Indeed, all actions are by intention. And you will be rewarded for things you do solely for Allah. You do not have to know people’s status, religion, or personality before helping them. So, it was a ‘Muslim helping a Muslim’ thing for us yesterday. And we were proud of ourselves. We were happy to render help regardless. We got home and narrated the story to the remaining children and l told my kids, always be there to help others. It pays in both worlds.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
[6:49 am, 14/06/2023] SYO BYTES: LOSING YOUR FAITH

Many things can make people lose faith without knowing it.

If you are the type that only calls on Allah during difficulty, you may likely forget to exercise patience when the trial strikes you.

If you are the one who loves Dunyah more than Deen, you may likely start to lose your faith when you are put to the test.

If you are the one who is always ungrateful, and not contented, you may lose your faith when the fortunes are taken away from you.

If you are the one who never thanks Allah for peace and harmony in your marriage, you may tend to lose your faith when marital conflict surfaces.

If you are the one who loves people more than Allah and His prophet, you may lose your faith when something happens to them.

If you are the type who put people before Allah, Yes, you may lose your faith when they turn their back on you.

So, be grateful at all times.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

BE KIND TO PEOPLE!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Regardless of who the person is, always show kindness towards others. It beautifies you as a person and brings light to your face and heart.

I entered the store yesterday after a long drive to Washington DC with two of my girls. Upon entering, l think we have picked one or two items and we were going to the other side for the rest of the things we needed only for us to see a man whose items were dropping and scattering on the floor from the shopping cart. I immediately informed Sumayyah to go get the items from the back while l helped picked up from the front. My other daughter who was pushing the cart behind us immediately stopped the cart and joined in the process.

We were surprised when the man said ‘Tasleem’ to us and he further said Jazakhumllahu Khyran. More shocking was when he asked ‘Sumayyah’, do you go to Al-Huda School? My son does too. Perhaps, this is due to the uniform she had on. I was wowed, to say the least. So, this man is a Muslim, and also a parent in my children’s school as well. What a life! What an act of kindness! What a good act toward others!

Yes, we didn’t know he was a Muslim, and neither do we know his son attended the same school as my children. Indeed, all actions are by intention. And you will be rewarded for things you do solely for Allah. You do not have to know people’s status, religion, or personality before helping them. So, it was a ‘Muslim helping a Muslim’ thing for us yesterday. And we were proud of ourselves. We were happy to render help regardless. We got home and narrated the story to the remaining children and l told my kids, always be there to help others. It pays in both worlds.

Umm Sumayyah Mai