To many non-believers and some ignorant Muslims; those who put on a niqab (face veil) are the ugliest among people of the universe. Some people, even among Muslims believe niqab wearers are the most backward people of all ages. Some even think they might not be able to construct or speak simple and common English, let alone read a poet’s book.

The niqab is not a symbol of oppression. I am a munaqabbah (wearer of face veil). I have never for once been forced into it. I have never been threatened to wear it. No one has ever denied me my right from among family and friends. Not even my husband.

It baffles me to see that some people in the world we live in, really, and truly have to dictate the kind of shoes l put on, the type of clothes l choose to wear, and how l supposed to wear them. I think common sense, and the fact that l have been given the privilege to know right from wrong is seriously enough. The fact that l can choose Aakhirah (Paradise) over Dunya is something I am grateful for. That l am an adult who has the same rights as everyone is enough. The fact that l am a woman raised with dignity and honor should be enough for anyone who sees me as a stranger amidst others.

My father, while we were growing up taught us many things. He raised us to always respect others, and to never deprive anyone of their rights. I recall those days he used to put me on his lap and ask me to read books to his ears. But, he told me many things which l didn’t forget. That: you are a brave girl, and Allaah has given you wisdom. You must never let anyone take your right away from you. You are a precious being and you must never give up on what belongs to you. Keep doing what you are doing, it eventually pays.

There is absolutely something to get just right in our thoughts. A woman who chooses to maintain her faith and beliefs deserves some respect and honor. I strongly believe it is her right to do what she likes with her body, just as it is for other women folks who dress as they please. It is her right to go around with her body covered based on her beliefs and her religious rights. I am sure, none of us would wish someone to take away our pride and of course our honor.

The niqab isn’t a symbol of oppression by the fact that we are not restricted to what we can do as ladies in veil. We have many of us who are doctors, the writer is a Registered Nurse. Many of us are in various sectors, perhaps you are not aware of it. We have among us who are teachers, lawyers, economists, and engineers to list but a few. Using a face veil hasn’t restricted us from getting into these enviable professions. We are still on top of our games. We wouldn’t give up, not even for a second.

Consequently, our contributions to the growth of our society shouldn’t be overlooked. We are indeed among those who are selfless when it comes to assisting the society at large. Do not interfere with our faith and beliefs. It’s our right and our pride.
So, l advise you to ask if you are confused. Let us respect other’s rights and religion. l am not sure someone (adult) needs to be taught how she dresses, especially if she chooses to cover her beautiful body from every Jack and Harry. The hate speech needs to stop. The frustration and molestation of our sisters in niqaab need to stop. Women who choose to wear the veil should be given their due rights. Let there be justice in all we do and allow us to practise our faith as enshrined in the shari’ah.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

This has been the statement of many sisters who are going through (PTSD). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and the outside world.

When someone tells you, l want to commit suicide, your first question is why?, Yes, why? Perhaps, at that point, you want to hear their rationales; and you definitely will want to settle for open-ended questions. It’s important to know that a lot of people are going through some kind of trauma that is affecting them emotionally and psychologically. Do not just think or say, how could she allow herself to be used by Shaytaan like that? Perhaps, it’s more than you think. It’s beyond them at some point. All they ever wanted is to speak with someone and share their pain with you.

It’s hard for most of them to forget and let go just like that. It’s hard for them to witness their parents being murdered and it’s hard for them to forget the description of the man who had raped and abused them. It’s hard for them to forget the spot and the injury incurred in the process. Not a single one of them with this diagnosis ever forgets the incident.

To the one going through some of my aforementioned plights, l want to remind you that indeed Allaah Azza Wa Jall knows why certain things happen to certain people. He knows what you do not know. He Allah takes and gives. He does as He wills and as destined. Do not take your life for the trauma you had suffered and the pain you had incurred. Do not because someone has abused you sexually and physically take your life. Do not because someone had taken the life of your loved one to commit suicide. For by Allaah, you are better than them. You are blessed by Allaah. Allah gave you many things to be thankful for. He gave you wisdom and a large heart. He gave you a tongue full of gratitude and a very inspiring soul. Life is a test, we all face it, some of us pass the trial while many of us failed woefully. Yet, we couldn’t take our souls for it. We didn’t fall into Shaytaan’s trap, because, we can’t afford to commit suicide. We can’t afford to lose our Jannah for the test of dunyah. Be strong and surround yourself with strong people. Today may be challenging, but ln shaa Allaah tomorrow is promised.

Let’s always be there for them. Be there for your sister in faith and be there for your lover in pain. Be there and let them lean on you. Let them know Dunya is temporary and Allaah has created a test/trial for a purpose. The purpose includes knowing who you are in the sight of Allah and the test that includes raising your status when you become patient and persevere when trial strikes.

We lost a good boy of 15yrs on Friday and he was buried on Saturday. This is a boy who had become a Hafiz when he was close to 13yrs. Here we are crying and pondering. Here we are thinking about ourselves, and how we will end our lives. Let’s always be thankful. Let’s always know Allah doesn’t wrong anyone. May Allah ease all of our affairs.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 24th, 2019

For a stingy man, it isn’t just about money, he may also be stingy with emotion and care. Sometimes, he might be stingy at home and be generous outside the home. A stingy person wouldn’t know the pain and suffering he is putting his family into.

Being stingy is not sacrificing for your family. Being stingy is not taking care of your family. Being stingy is leaving your responsibility for a woman to take charge.

Some men think because their wives have some little change, they will be fine, so they don’t have to worry about their responsibilities. What l learned from those ugly scenarios is simply that, they have subjected the woman to become a man in broad daylight, she is forced to do what a man is supposed to be doing. She is forced to stand in the position of a man and take care of her children herself. This happens because the stingy man has the mindset that she will be fine. She will do it. She has money to do that. The stingy man doesn’t know he is hurting her emotionally and she is not pleased with him internally. She goes through cracking her brain on how to make sure things are in order while the stingy man succeeds in making her run bankrupt. Debt over debt and worries over worries.

Allah sees those who spend on their family hoping to be rewarded by Him. There is nothing you spend on your family except that Allaah increases your wealth and accepts it from you as an act of ibadah. Real men don’t leave their responsibilities to a woman. Real men also tend to appreciate their wives’ generosity and efforts.

It is good to spend on your family, do not make it the wife’s responsibility. If you have #5,000 don’t keep it out of being stingy because you saw that your wife has #4000 and so you were hoping she should be fine. Give from what you have, women who are generous spend beyond and Allaah hasn’t ever shut the gate of mercy on them. This is why they become richer than their men. Her man is stingy, in that case, she is generous and Allaah blesses her hustle the more. It is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no day on which people wake up but two angels come down. One of them says, ‘O Allaah, compensate anyone who spends’ and the other says, ‘O Allaah, destroy the one who withholds.’” (Bukhaari)

Spend on your family. Do not be a stingy man, stinginess is a disease and it won’t make you successful if you knew. Worst are those who know the woman can’t even help herself, and talk less about her children. Take care of your responsibilities according to your capacity. Do not leave your responsibility to your woman. There is a difference in knowing you don’t have, and there is a pain in knowing you are being stingy and perhaps in knowing you spend your money outside the home forgetting your priority. May Allaah ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 17th, 2019