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What about Men?

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALKMARRIAGE

The truth is the saying that, what you give out, is what you get back.  Oh, my dear sister, l wants you to pause for a second and ask yourself, how are you treating your husband? Yes, you may want to ask me the same question, and my husband can tell you the good and the bad sides of me. But I have always tried my best to treat my husband well.

It is saddening that many of our sisters had taken to Feminism, and their husbands are being treated like a piece of shit. It is understandable if a man has money and not doing, but a man who strives to make ends meet should not be termed stupid. Yes, every man should be the sole provider for his family. But, do you appreciate the little he provides? Ain’t you comparing him to your fellow Feminist husband’s friends? And when you spilled the truth, they ask, what about men?

Dear, treat your husband with love and mercy. Appreciate the man in your life. Appreciate the fact that through him you are proud to be called the mother of Sumayyah. He may not be giving as you want. He may be poor like a rat, but your Jannah still lies underneath his feet. If your husband is pleased with you, you should be thankful to Allah.

How many of us have taken to exposing our husbands? How many of us are not appreciative of all the good that is done to us? We are quick to tongue-lash our husbands and we hate them with passion without being remorseful. It may be that you hate what Allah loves and little do you know.

This life will end one day. But your action and inactions will stay with you forever. If you are not pleased with your husband for some reason, take it easy on him and continue to pray for him.  Which woman will tell her husband “You are stupid” because he couldn’t provide everything you want without seeking to see the wrath of Allah?

To those women who are sick and tired of the marriage because the husband isn’t bringing enough, and still able to maintain their patience, May Allah reward you.  May Allah raise our husband’s rank and make them responsible and accountable.  Dear, let’s continue to pray to Allah for our husbands same as the women companions did. They were not given rich husbands, but they were contented.  May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

by with No Comment MARRIAGE

Intimacy is a deep connection between two people. An emotional bond that involves trust and unique feelings between two partners. And this strong feeling can only happen when there is love, empathy, and compassion between two individuals. In this case, husband and wife. Marriage isn’t just about food and having children. It’s more of a deeper connection. The feeling of love and great connection when your partner is out of your sight. Many people among us have been in a relationship, and yet, haven’t gotten the sweetness of what marriage is.

From my interactions with women, and also going by their complaints, l have observed that there is a lack of emotional feelings in their relationships. And, sadly, they sometimes feel rejected and ashamed. I have had two clients with similar issues. And l feel the need to address it. Sometimes, getting to that unique stage for some people may take time. Especially if there is always conflict, incompatibility, and lack of compassion in the marriage. And some men are only after being satisfied without any connection.

Most women want that deeper feeling of connection and not just intimacy itself. And this is justified. It shows her level of empathy and compassion. And such women need to be handled with care and love. A man who told her wife “the Angel curse” a woman who rejects her husband, should not neglect a woman who comes to him with a feeling of love and intimacy. Yes, she wants it, the same way you want it when you feel like having it. No matter how tired you are, ensure that you make her feel loved and show some empathy towards her feelings. Even if she will not be touched at that particular time.

The truth is, she comes to you because of that deeper connection. She wouldn’t have come to you if she is depressed or angry with you. Most women do that due to that unique trust and feelings towards you. And if you continue to reject the offer, it is setting a bad record in the relationship. As with women, who make you feel like a king, she needs to be treated like a queen. And that increases the bond and ignites the love between both of you.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

HAVING A RIGHTEOUS SPOUSE

by with No Comment MARRIAGE

‘Heart-to-Heart with My Sister’ book launch is 9days away. Have you preordered yours, yet?

If Allah has blessed you with a righteous husband/wife, do hold on to him/her, once you lose him/her, you may regret it eternally…

No man will let go of a good wife by Allaah. No woman will also let go of a good man. No matter the conflict, no matter the disagreement between them, he won’t ever wanna let her go. She won’t ever wanna let him go, not even a move of an inch. So, those that had been waiting for their separation tend to be amazed by their unification.

Oh Allaah, please ease the affairs of anyone/everyone facing marital depression. Ya Rabbal ‘Alaameen…

Umm Sumayyah Mai

TREASURE EVERY MOMENT

by with No Comment MARRIAGE

I’m not one that likes to write about marriage and all that relationship advice on here because as it is, I’m still learning each day. So, this is not marital advice just something that touched me and I’ve wanted to share ever since.

So, some weeks back The Mister and I needed to pray Jumuah in an unfamiliar environment and my darling Umm Sumayyah Mai (aka Mummy I love you 😘) was kind enough to send us an address. Our only option was to Uber it and MaashaaAllah, the khutbah was awesome. The Imam emphasized on the role of women and how the menfolk should care for their women and not be irresponsible.

The highlight of that day was the trip back. The Mister was saying Salams to the brothers who had noticed we were new around when our Uber arrived. It was this sleek, black Mercedes that I won’t forget in a while and our driver was a woman. Annette. I hopped in beside Annette like I always do with female drivers and we couldn’t help but compliment her on the car. Yes, it was that fine! Then she thanked us and said her husband got it for her that she had told him before that she wants the car when she’s 50 and he really did get it for her. Wowzer! Meanwhile, Annette looked 35ish. Like an Ad for ‘Black don’t crack’. Then Annette asked if we were married. Of course, we are. That was when she made me cry.

She said, “Treasure each other forever. I lost my husband earlier this year. We always act like we’ll be here forever but we may just leave at anytime. He had a massive heart attack and didn’t return home. He was only 49. God’s got me.”

I just kept saying sorry while fighting back my tears. She had his funeral program with his picture right there in the car and showed it to us. I couldn’t look at it. My eyes still fill up with tears whenever I remember.

I may never meet Annette again in my life but I won’t forget her in a long time. She reminded me that sometimes we just dwell on things that do not really matter and won’t mean a thing in a couple of hours or days when we should really be enjoying the moment because we don’t know what will happen next. I’ve learned from her that every moment we share is priceless and can’t be replaced.

If you have a good partner, appreciate them, be happy, don’t complain about meaningless things all the time. When either of you is gone, it’s memories you’ll have to hold on to and not ill feelings. What kind of memories are you making? Treasure every moment…

Thank you.

Maryam Abiodun Omolade