Giving up on them: Yes, some children are difficult to raise. But once you become tired and leave them alone, you had only added more to their problems. Never give up on your child’s challenges and behavior.
Dua: This can’t be stressed enough. That you made a dua for a particular child and it hasn’t manifested in the child’s behavior doesn’t make you relent. You must continue and be hopeful that Allah will change the child.
Not rewarding a child when he does well. A child should be praised for the little he achieved and encouraged to continue the same pattern.
Not creating time for children: We have seen cases of abandonment in children. This isn’t because both parents are divorced, but because they do not care about raising and nurturing good children. The husband works Mon – Sunday and the mother is always at work. No days are left for the children. We must prioritize our time and do less overtime if we want our children to be successful in both worlds.
No importance is attached to Islamic etiquette and teaching: Children should be taught basic Islamic education. They must be raised on pristine Islam and the fear of Allah should be cultivated in them. A child whose parent doesn’t pray may find prayer strange when advised of its importance. A child should be taught about Tawheed and what it means to be dutiful to Allah and one’s parents.
When parents overlook a child’s bad manners and character: Foremost, you must know your child’s companion and no parent should ignore a child who constantly proves no manners. Correction should be made without delay and reprimanding such behaviour approrapltely is the best.
Every child is unique in their ways: Do not compare A to B. Avoid creating destructive jealousy in their minds. Talk to each child accordingly when they are wrong and do not make a comparison in front of them. That doesn’t mean l am perfect in this area, l have done it before, but it isn’t the best. It may lead to low self-esteem and depression. Caution should be taken at all times.
May add more later, ln shaa Allah. May Allah bless our children and make them successful in both worlds.
Umm Sumayyah Mai