Channel Your Grief into Productivity

Yes, everyone gets the fact that you have been tried. That Allah put you through a huge trauma that is hard to swallow. We understand the effect on your mental and spiritual health. And we know for a fact that you are frustrated and depressed.

I think it’s important to know that the whole issue isn’t really about you alone. It’s also about your loved ones, family and friends. It’s about you not crossing the limit of Allah. The Prophet (may Allah be pleased with him) is a great example for us with every challenge that comes our way.  This is a nobleman who lost his wife, and children when he least expected.  How about the pains and suffering he encountered during battles?

I have come to realize the effect of losing a loved one places on women.  And especially our Muslim sisters. Though, very saddening to say the least.  But, it’s essential to know what to do and how productive you can become if you are put on the same trial.

  1. You must believe in Qadar. Accept the fact that it’s Allah’s doing.
  2. You need to breathe. Take a deep breath. Cry it out. Cry, yes, cry and cry out your pain.
  3. Get help as soon as possible. You can request to visit a behavioral unit in the nearest hospital.
  4. Let the attending physician know you are feeling awkward. And you feel like taking your life.
  5. Use strong emotions to increase your productivity.
  6. Express your pain. Speak with someone. Talk about who your loved one was while on Earth.
  7. Channel your strength to what you love doing most. Learn to rediscover yourself.
  8. Choose your grieving skills and scopes. Refrain from dwelling too much on your grief.
  9. You can dedicate the pain and frustration to seeking knowledge and or exercising.
  10. You can start a campaign and talk to people who were once in your shoes and learn their coping mechanisms.
  11. You can choose to write a story about your loss. You can also publish a book to that effect and or create an avenue where you can lend your voice to people with suicidal ideation.

Dear Muslimah, you may not know how strong and deep-rooted you are in faith until you are afflicted with trials and tribulations.  So, it’s important to remember to always hold still when trial strikes. One of those who will sympathize with you either positively or negatively, aside from your loved ones is Shaytain.  So be ready to pass Allah’s test and not give in to Shaytain’s plot.

He is the one who whispers in your ears that the end is now. He may begin to ask you the reason why you still want to live when your husband is gone. So, surround yourself with the Quran and pious people. Gradually, you will overcome the pain.  The truth is, you will feel the heaviness on your chest. The pain is real. But your reward awaits.


Umm Sumayyah Mai

Youth empowerment programs