For a stingy man, it isn’t just about money, he may also be stingy with emotion and care. Sometimes, he might be stingy at home and be generous outside the home. A stingy person wouldn’t know the pain and suffering he is putting his family into.
Being stingy is not sacrificing for your family. Being stingy is not taking care of your family. Being stingy is leaving your responsibility for a woman to take charge.
Some men think because their wives have some little change, they will be fine, so they don’t have to worry about their responsibilities. What l learned from those ugly scenarios is simply that, they have subjected the woman to become a man in broad daylight, she is forced to do what a man is supposed to be doing. She is forced to stand in the position of a man and take care of her children herself. This happens because the stingy man has the mindset that she will be fine. She will do it. She has money to do that. The stingy man doesn’t know he is hurting her emotionally and she is not pleased with him internally. She goes through cracking her brain on how to make sure things are in order while the stingy man succeeds in making her run bankrupt. Debt over debt and worries over worries.
Allah sees those who spend on their family hoping to be rewarded by Him. There is nothing you spend on your family except that Allaah increases your wealth and accepts it from you as an act of ibadah. Real men don’t leave their responsibilities to a woman. Real men also tend to appreciate their wives’ generosity and efforts.
It is good to spend on your family, do not make it the wife’s responsibility. If you have #5,000 don’t keep it out of being stingy because you saw that your wife has #4000 and so you were hoping she should be fine. Give from what you have, women who are generous spend beyond and Allaah hasn’t ever shut the gate of mercy on them. This is why they become richer than their men. Her man is stingy, in that case, she is generous and Allaah blesses her hustle the more. It is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no day on which people wake up but two angels come down. One of them says, ‘O Allaah, compensate anyone who spends’ and the other says, ‘O Allaah, destroy the one who withholds.’” (Bukhaari)
Spend on your family. Do not be a stingy man, stinginess is a disease and it won’t make you successful if you knew. Worst are those who know the woman can’t even help herself, and talk less about her children. Take care of your responsibilities according to your capacity. Do not leave your responsibility to your woman. There is a difference in knowing you don’t have, and there is a pain in knowing you are being stingy and perhaps in knowing you spend your money outside the home forgetting your priority. May Allaah ease the affairs of our homes.
Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 17th, 2019