It’s that time of the year when everyone joyously celebrates. The children beautifully play and enjoy the serenity. Now is the perfect opportunity to celebrate and pamper your wife for all her hard work throughout the last 12 months. If you’re able to get her a beautiful Eid outfit, kudos to you! If not, there’s still room for pampering. Take her out on a date, or plan a vacation with her – a romantic getaway, just the two of you. Let’s learn to appreciate our women and show them love and care sincerely. Every woman wants to be loved and appreciated. She’s your wife; give her the attention and love she deserves.

Remember, it’s the thought that counts, not the price tag. A heartfelt gesture, a listening ear, or a helping hand can mean the world to her. Show her that you value her efforts, her love, and her presence in your life. Let’s make this Eid a special one for our wives, and may our homes be filled with love, peace, and happiness. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes and bless our relationships.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

There is no perfect marriage, nor a perfect man or woman out there. Perfection belongs to Allah alone. So, let’s not expect too much from our spouses. As I wrote in my book, “Can love be too much?” our core love should be, first and foremost, for Allah. It’s wonderful to love, and love is indeed life-giving and sweet. However, giving our utmost love to Allah should be our top priority.

There’s no perfect partner out there, and you often don’t know someone’s true character until you live with them. If challenges arise in your marriage, you receive support from loved ones, and the issue is resolvable; try to be patient. Listen to and work with people who genuinely care about you and want the best for your relationship. I understand that unresolved issues can accumulate and lead people to leave their marriages. But if yours can still be salvaged, and your partner is willing to work through issues and take accountability, please consider listening and giving it a chance.

Men who truly love and care about their partners will go the extra mile to keep them happy because they recognize their worth. Every marriage is unique, and the reasons people leave are different. Your story is distinct, and it’s not going to be the same as someone else’s. Learning to listen and not focusing on every mistake your partner makes is crucial. Marriage works when both partners are willing to work together for peace. If your marriage can be resolved, I encourage you to hold on to it and work through the challenges.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Don’t let the pain consume you tonight. The weight of your heart is seen by Allah, the One who crafted every emotion – the pain, the sadness, the joy, and the trials. He’s the One testing your resolve. I can sense the depth of your hurt and the discomfort you’ve been carrying. I’m aware of the stress that’s burdening your heart, the worries that cloud your thoughts, and the emotions that color your words. I see you, and I feel your pain. But here’s the truth: you’re not alone.

In the midst of this darkness, know that Allah’s love and mercy surround you. He’s closer to you than your jugular vein, and He’s aware of every tear that’s fallen. It’s okay to not be okay, but don’t let the pain define you. You are strong, resilient, and capable of navigating this storm.

May Allah’s peace and comfort envelop you, soothing the ache in your heart. May His guidance illuminate your path, and may you find solace in His words. You are loved, you are valued, and you are not forgotten. Hold on to hope, and know that better days are ahead.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Then, l will be naked along with many males and females; uncircumcised, barefoot, and waiting for my judgment. The result of what l did in Dunya. I will not be able to see if sister Maryam is not putting on underwear, nor will I have the time to check if Brother Lukman has covered his private part. I, along with many other people will be overwhelmed. Waiting, waiting, and waiting in fear and humiliation. 

I will be waiting under the scorching sun. And l will be sweating until my turn is reached and or perhaps until my name is called. I will not be able to look for my “Treasured Love.” Nor will l be asking for my children. I, alongside many other people, at that time, will perhaps be restless, tired, scared, and scattered. I will not remember my siblings nor will l look out for my parents. 

I will be more shocked, surprised, and scared when the contents of graves become scattered. And the sky breaks apart. And the stars fall, scattering. And the heaven split open. I will be more scared when my hands and feet begin to speak of what they used to earn. Of what l did with them while l was on the surface of the earth.

And l, alongside many other people (male & female), will be brought to account for every major and minor action we did in this world, whether it was good or bad. And we will be rewarded for our good deeds and perhaps be questioned about our bad deeds. I am scared and scared penning this down, right now. 

And when the “Lord of the Majestic throne say to the Angels, Look at My slave’s prayer, is it complete or lacking?’ If it is complete, it will be recorded as complete, but if it is lacking, He will say, ‘Look and see whether my slave did any voluntary (naafil) prayers.’ If he had done voluntary prayers, He would say, ‘Complete the obligatory prayers of My slave from his voluntary prayers.’ Then the rest of his deeds will be examined similarly.” 

And we would be asked about other matters. At this point, l do not know what l will be saying. And perhaps, the answers l will give when these five questions are asked: “My life and how l spent it, my youth and how l used it, my wealth and how acquired it, and how l disposed of it, and how l acted upon what l acquired of knowledge.

Oh Allah! Do not humiliate me on the day of judgment. Oh Allah! Do not put me to shame on the day of the greatest fear. Oh Allah! Conceal all my faults. Oh Allah erase all my sins. Oh Allah! Do not disgrace us. Oh Allah! Be merciful with us, overlook our shortcomings, and grant us steadfastness upon your Deen! Ya Rabbal ‘A’alaameen! 

 – Umm Sumayyah Mai 

#Repost

Life is full of ups and downs, and tests are inevitable. As humans, we’re imperfect – perfection belongs to Allah alone. When trials hit hard, remember to turn back to Allah, who has allowed you to go through them. 

In a recent discussion with some sisters online, I emphasized the importance of not comparing your marriage to others. Each of us faces unique trials, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Learn to navigate your own challenges and strive for the best. Having a supportive spouse is a blessing from Allah. 

Find comfort in patience and work on perseverance. Let prayer be your solace, and seek help when needed. If you’ve done your best and things don’t work out as planned, you will not be blamed for it, and your efforts will be rewarded by trusting in Allah. Make decisions calmly, and don’t forget to forgive yourself. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

A follow-up post: Following my previous post on unresolved issues. After your voice has been heard and necessary precautions and solutions to your plight have been rectified by reasonable and qualified people, it’s time for you to be patient and keep him in your prayers.

Remember that Shaytan can influence your home, so work on becoming the best version of yourself. Focus on areas he complained about, acknowledging that you’re not perfect either. 

Don’t expect changes to be perfect right away, but rest assured they’ll take effect In shaa ‘Allah. See him as a human who, like you, isn’t perfect, and continue praying. If changes aren’t made, gently bring it to his attention, and if necessary, report it again. As long as you’ve done your part beautifully, remember that relationships involve two people. May He rectify the affairs of our homes. 

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Always avoid the blame game.

We need to learn to listen more, acknowledge our mistakes, and apologize. The other night, I questioned my husband about something I thought was wrong. However, he provided proof that clarified his intention, which differed from what I had understood. After seeing the proof, I was confused but chose to remain silent.

For a marriage to last, it’s essential to stop the blame game, compromise when necessary, and overlook our spouse’s shortcomings. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Then, l will be naked along with many males and females; uncircumcised, barefoot, and waiting for my judgment. The result of what l did in Dunya. I will not be able to see if sister Maryam is not putting on underwear, nor will I have the time to check if Brother Lukman has covered his private part. I, along with many other people will be overwhelmed. Waiting, waiting, and waiting in fear and humiliation. 

I will be waiting under the scorching sun. And l will be sweating until my turn is reached and or perhaps until my name is called. I will not be able to look for my “Treasured Love.” Nor will l be asking for my children. I, alongside many other people, at that time, will perhaps be restless, tired, scared, and scattered. I will not remember my siblings nor will l look out for my parents. 

I will be more shocked, surprised, and scared when the contents of graves become scattered. And the sky breaks apart. And the stars fall, scattering. And the heaven split open. I will be more scared when my hands and feet begin to speak of what they used to earn. Of what l did with them while l was on the surface of the earth.

And l, alongside many other people (male & female), will be brought to account for every major and minor action we did in this world, whether it was good or bad. And we will be rewarded for our good deeds and perhaps be questioned about our bad deeds. I am scared and scared penning this down, right now. 

And when the “Lord of the Majestic throne say to the Angels, Look at My slave’s prayer, is it complete or lacking?’ If it is complete, it will be recorded as complete, but if it is lacking, He will say, ‘Look and see whether my slave did any voluntary (naafil) prayers.’ If he had done voluntary prayers, He would say, ‘Complete the obligatory prayers of My slave from his voluntary prayers.’ Then the rest of his deeds will be examined similarly.” 

And we would be asked about other matters. At this point, l do not know what l will be saying. And perhaps, the answers l will give when these five questions are asked: “My life and how l spent it, my youth and how l used it, my wealth and how acquired it, and how l disposed of it, and how l acted upon what l acquired of knowledge.

Oh Allah! Do not humiliate me on the day of judgment. Oh Allah! Do not put me to shame on the day of the greatest fear. Oh Allah! Conceal all my faults. Oh Allah erase all my sins. Oh Allah! Do not disgrace us. Oh Allah! Be merciful with us, overlook our shortcomings, and grant us steadfastness upon your Deen! Ya Rabbal ‘A’alaameen!

1.  – Umm Sumayyah Mai

#Repost

1. Allah has blessed us with Islam and the Sunnah, and we must show our gratitude through actions and words. One thing is to seek Allah’s aid and assistance, but when the prayers are answered, do we maintain that connection with our Lord? 

We all know ourselves and how lax we’ve become with our deen. We’ve forgotten how we used to be devoted to our daily prayers, night prayers, and remembrance of Allah. The affairs of this temporary world have taken over these beautiful practices.

Will you renew your contract with Allah today? Ensure that you’re always in connection with Allah, no matter what you do. Establish routines and be consistent. May Allah assist us all.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

As a Muslimah, it’s essential to be someone who is respected and loved for her humility, kindness, and character. The little kindness you sacrifice and show to others means a lot; it speaks volumes about who you are and the identity you portray. Yes, people can be naughty sometimes, but your manner of dealing with them will earn you respect in front of everyone. Be someone known for helping others.

By Allah, I have two reasons for writing this post. It’s crucial to be different and, more importantly, to be someone people can vouch for even in your absence. You don’t only show kindness to your fellow Muslim but also to others, regardless of their religion or status. May Allah make us better.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai