Perhaps Allah knows he’s not good for you and is protecting you from future challenges. A failed marriage can lead to significant worries and depression for women.

He may have left you for a reason known only to him, and it’s possible he’s not the right fit. A man who complains about your religious practices or dress code is a red flag, indicating incompatibility in faith. If he leaves you for another woman, consider yourself blessed by Allah’s protection.

Let’s be clear: you can’t change a man’s level of religious commitment. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can mold him to your standards. Recognize the red flags and accept Allah’s decree. Marriage is a serious commitment, not a trivial matter.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Marriage isn’t child’s play; as such, you must choose carefully and intelligently. As a Muslim, whether you are male or female, seeking a compatible partner involves considering many factors. By prioritizing compatibility, you need to identify your non-negotiables, such as your deen, mode of dressing, halal lifestyle, truthfulness, trustworthiness, integrity, and leadership. 

Before saying ‘I do,’ learn to know your priorities. Know what you’re looking for in a man or woman. You must look for a partner who shares the same Islamic values and principles as you: someone reliable, respectful, and supportive, with good character, morals, and manners. Someone who listens effectively, has good communication and conflict-resolution skills, good financial stability, emotional maturity, and accountability. Above all, someone with sound creed, piety, and humility.

I know you’ve been waiting for the right person to come your way. When the opportunity arises, take the advice and support of your family, friends, and community seriously. Seek guidance and Allah’s help through Istikhara. This isn’t the time to overlook checking a person’s background or associations. Be patient and don’t rush into a decision without making your findings, with the help of your parents and others. May Allah grant your heart’s desire.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE BANKING SYSTEM IN KANO STATE, NIGERIA AS A WOMAN WHO USES THE FACE VEIL (NIQAAB)

It was on Monday morning, 14th April, 2025 when my co-co and I stepped into the banking hall of one of the conventional banks to sort out some issues. At the entrance, the security officer ( male) made it known to us that I might be asked to take off/raise my niqaab once I’m indoors. In fact, we regretted not getting facemasks should we encounter any problem with the bank and it’s disposition towards the niqaab. My co-co even offered to give me her face towel but I said there was no need till we’re in the hall.

Once in, a female security officer just stopped us and said in a very mean and condescending manner, ‘Remove that thing from your face. Nobody will attend to you if you don’t remove that thing’. My co-co tried explaining and talking to her calmly and even making small jokes with her, but she was adamant and that was when my head also ‘sparked’.

I went to her and told her in my most English diction, ‘First, what you call ‘that thing’ has a name. It is called ‘niqaab’. And why should I take it off?’ By then, a customer care officer had joined her and started stating that it is the bank’s policy they’re simply following as the bank doesn’t allow those wearing niqaab into the premises’.

I responded with, ‘Alright, since it’s the bank policy, definitely, it’ll be officially stated somewhere, can I see where it is documented, so that I can just simply close down my account here if the bank deems me not fit to be their customer?’

She then said, ‘Hajia, it’s not fight now, as you can see, I’m smiling and trying to make you understand. I believe you’re exposed…’

‘And that’s more reason I’m highly disappointed in this bank. In this age and stage in 2025 Kano State, we’re still battling with this when you can simply make provisions for special customers like me’.

Yes, I was ready for a fight. I went there prepared. I went there rehearsing what answers to give to any confrontation. I went there with one of my ‘correctest’ jilbaab and my sallah shoes. At least, when they try to rate my social status, they would be confused especially with my deliberate Queens elocution( I pronounced the ted in disappointed as/tid/ not /ted/ and other words that the average Nigerian does not bother about). I still have PTSD from what happened at Ado Bayero mall last year and I’ll not allow anyone bully me again because of my niqaab without a fight.

Before I knew it, I was handed a form to fill with regards my complaint. I then went to the inner section where I’ll be attended to. I overheard the security officer woman telling one of the bankers that Mr so and so had already said he wouldn’t attend me if I don’t remove my niqaab.

At this time, my co-co was also pissed off and was sad that her phone was off( mine too), else she would have recorded all the rubbish they were doing.

When I got to the Mr so and so, he went through my form and through my thumb print, he verified the account. Then came, ‘You have to lift your veil for me to identify you’. Calmly, respectfully, politely but firmly, I requested, ‘Could you please ask any of your female colleague to do that for me?’

‘If I get a female to ID you, there would be no problem, right?’, he inquired.

‘Absolutely not’, I responded, ‘That’s the only favour I ask’. He then asked his female colleague to do that and we were done.

Before he finally agreed though, he said how would he know that I was the one, and my co-co replied with, ‘Her details filled in the form is the same as on the screen and her thumb print accessed the account’. He then smiled this, ‘That was a caught’ smile.

The next banker who was to activate my ATM card wanted to also try after I had been verified. He said, ‘What if it was your twin sister who owns the account? We’ve had cases like that’ Sharply, I replied, ‘My twin sister and I wouldn’t have the same fingerprint, right?’ He proceeded to conclude the process, I thanked him and the lady who verified me and we waltzed out of the bank.

Happy customer, happy/disgruntled bank. Whatever.

Maryooma Maryam Ikaki Umm Maymoonah

• Women go through a lot. From childbearing to child-rearing, success for a smart woman comes when they raise, nurture, and see their sacrifices as fruitful for their children. A good woman goes the extra mile to raise successful children, not just in this life but in the hereafter.

Sometimes, we may appear strong, energetic, and determined, but we may be tired and just need a hug and a thank you for what we’ve done. Just because a woman stays in the house doesn’t mean she’s not doing anything; in fact, she does a lot. So, it’s possible for her to be tired and only want to share that with you. It’s possible that you’re tired after a long day of work and all you need is a good sleep.

Again, it’s what makes a marriage successful – sacrifice: the sacrifice to listen, the sacrifice to learn, the sacrifice to show sympathy and empathy towards one another, and the sacrifice to forgive and endure each other’s shortcomings. Your wife needs that from you, and it’s very important to learn that your husband is human too. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

In this life, whatever you can do to assist others, do it regardless. You don’t need to wait for people to even ask you. Today, I had two nursing students paired with me who were rounding up nursing school and preparing for their NCLEX exam. They were asking me questions, and I was answering with good vibes.

Upon leaving the hospital before their briefing, they came to me and asked if I would be working the next weekend. I said no. They asked about the following weekend, and I said no again. They weren’t happy and asked which weekend I would be working. I said the third weekend. They replied, “We will request for you.” I smiled out loud.

They said they would follow everything I told them. I emphasized the importance of preparing well and not just rushing or delaying too long. I also stressed the importance of reading the rationale behind every single question they missed while practicing and preparing for the exam, among other things.

Sincerely, if they follow my advice, Insha’Allah, they will remember me and probably pray for me or say thank you. This life isn’t difficult. All it takes is a sacrifice for others, and Allah’s reward awaits you. May Allah make us better than what people think of us.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

    As a face-veil wearer, I was disheartened by the recent incident involving our sister whose gold worth 100 million disappeared, allegedly involving a salesgirl named Lucy at a Lekki Phase 1 shop. What hurts even more are the comments about her face veil. I feel disturbed by the stereotypes surrounding women who wear face veils. Many assume we’re uneducated, poor, and insignificant. However, they’re often surprised to discover that we have doctors, nurses, lawyers, and business tycoons among us.

Those who underestimate us because of our choice to observe our faith are mistaken. We’re not dumb, illiterate, or poor just because we follow our religious principles. I urge you to be mindful of your words and respect every woman you see wearing a veil. We’re bosses in our own right, empowered by our faith.

1. Oh Allah, answer our prayers and grant our sister everlasting joy. Oh Allah, bring Lucy and everyone involved to justice.  

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Alhamdulillah for the blessing of Ramadan and the gift of Eid from Allah, the Creator of heaven and earth. We can’t be more thankful to Allah for witnessing another year of Ramadan. Wallah, it’s a privilege, if only we knew.

Yes, Ramadan has just ended, and we’ve been blessed with the gift of Eid celebrations. We’re thankful, but what happens to us after Ramadan? It’s essential to remain steadfast in our acts of worship and set goals for the afterlife. Remember, this life is temporary, so live in it like a traveler.

Let me ask you: Did you observe your Qiyam al-Layl? How about Fajr? Be grateful if you didn’t miss both. If you did, be prepared to start fighting your nafs and refusing the whispers of Shaitan, our greatest enemy.

To keep the Ramadan energy going, acknowledge that Allah is the Lord of all months, not just Ramadan. He loves consistency. Set achievable goals, such as:

– 2 rakats of Qiyamul Layl

– 5 pages of Quran daily

– Morning and evening Adhkar

Start with the bare minimum and avoid setting too many goals that you won’t be consistent with. Allah loves all acts done consistently. May Allah assist us.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

To our sisters, we say: beautify yourselves, but don’t forget to wear your veil when going out on Eid. Refrain from perfuming yourselves until you return home. Wear your best clothes, and keep your hair covered. Avoid music and alcohol, and remember that Shaitan is always ready to tempt you. Allah is always watching.

Don’t engage in haram activities, including intimate relations with someone you’re not married to. Don’t waste the rewards of your Ramadan ibadah. Avoid shaking hands with non-mahrams, and don’t display your beauty or clothing excessively. Refrain from wearing high-heeled shoes to seek attention.

Don’t take selfies during the Eid prayer or sermon. Instead, listen attentively to the sermon and remain silent. Observe Eid etiquette.

On the morning of Eid al-Fitr, don’t fast. Eat dates or something light or heavy, as you prefer. Assist your husbands and encourage them to maintain their beards. Help them dress well and choose beautiful clothes.

Dress your children nicely, but avoid taking them to places with haram activities, such as music and haram dancing. Don’t let them engage in sinful behavior just because it’s Eid.

Remember to perform your prayers and be thankful to Allah for sparing your life. I ask Allah to accept your prayers, grant your heart’s desires, and have mercy on you. May Allah keep you safe, sound, and well.

Eid Celebration: A Time of Jubilation

Remember to have fun without sinning. You’ve just sought forgiveness, so follow Eid etiquette and show kindness. Don’t forget the less fortunate and remember to be humble. May Allah reward your efforts.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

  Oh Allah, I have submitted myself to You. I am Your servant, the daughter of Your servant. I am but a sinner, and I submit myself to You. Please forgive all my sins, both apparent and concealed.

Paradise is true, and Hellfire is true. Oh Allah, do not disgrace me on the Day of Judgment. Oh Allah, please conceal my sins and accept my sincere repentance, Ya Rabbal ‘A’lameen.

Oh Allah, forgive my husband, overlook all his mistakes, grant him sound health, Iman, save him from the punishment of the grave, and grant him Jannatul Firdaws.

Oh Allah, please grant all my children retentive memories, beneficial knowledge, piety, and above all, Jannah. Oh Allah, grant them piety, good manners, and character. Oh Allah, make them successful in both worlds.

Oh Allah, grant me the ability to always do everything for Your sake. Help purify my intention and accept my Salah, fasting, and charity.

Oh Allah, grant me the ability to witness the Night of Qadr. Forgive me on that day and cleanse my heart from any forms of enmity, hatred, and hypocrisy.

 Oh Allah, please rank me among Your sincere servants. Allow me to live long on earth in sincere obedience to all Your orders. Grant me the opportunity to meet Rasulullah and the gift of seeing Your face on the Day of Judgment.

Oh Allah, I seek refuge in You from the punishment of the grave and the torment therein. Oh Allah, forgive my parents overlook their shortcomings, and grant them Jannah.

Oh Allah, save me from Hellfire, for it is a bad ending. Do not make me among those who will enter Hell before entering Jannah. Oh Allah, keep my feet firm upon righteousness and make me among those who are steadfast.

Oh Allah, let death meet me only when You are pleased with me and upon Your forgiveness. Oh Allah, You are my Lord, You know me better than anyone. Please help me with my debts.

Oh Allah, make going to Umrah and Hajj easy for me and everyone in my shoes. I wish the same for everyone reading this du’a. May Allah accept all our prayers. Accept all my du’as, Ya Rabbal ‘A’lameen.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

1. Ramadan 1439AH

May 2018!

#Repost