Open Bible on a wood table with light coming from above. ( church concept ).

Oh Youngsters!

I was that small girl who was raised by a Mum of seven. I lost my father at a tender age of 11. Yet, l promised myself to stand tall and do all it takes to make my mother proud by being successful. It was a tough journey for a small child like myself. Life was hard! Life was difficult! It was terribly, terrible!

Truly, we were blessed with a kindhearted, loving mother. She was all l could raise my head up and see – all l could share my pains and worries with. Oh My mother! I was a vulnerable girl. But, l refused to be used and dumped by men. I was always careful and l always tried to follow my mother’s advice and instructions.

Perhaps, you are blessed with good parents who nurture and raised you to become successful in both worlds. That Allah has given you a mother and or father who are there for you is indeed enough as a blessing. You should always be grateful. You should always do your best and live your life memorably.

My father was gone when l needed him most. He was overtaken by death which we all owe! I missed every moment that requires his attention – every gathering where his empty seat were spotted. I missed his fatherly love!

My call is for you as a youngster to listen and be obedient to your parents. Perhaps they may leave you unannounced. The life of this dunya is nothing but temporary. Take with you what will make you become successful tomorrow. Be a child whom your parent will be proud of. Avoid being used as sex toy, and choose your friend wisely. Live your youthful age honourably!

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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We Got Stuck at Jeddah Airport

I wanted to share this piece with you based on tawakkul (reliance on Allah) and (sincerity) in doing things solely for the sake of Allah. We had left Mekka early for Jeddah, and we got to King Abdulaziz International Airport around 3:45 am waiting for our flight back to Dulles Airport, Washington.

Upon our arrival at Jeddah Airport, we immediately checked in without delay. That’s around 4 am. The flight takes off at 8:40 am. I didn’t want to go in earlier, so l had set the alarm for 7:23 am where we were sitting at the check-in station. I didn’t pay attention to the boarding time set for (7:10 am) again. My brain has glued to the 8:40 am. Though we have been exhausted and tired. So, we needed to nap before the flight kicks off. Unfortunately, we slept past the time a little bit. And upon getting to the passport check entrance, we realized we couldn’t go in again. I verified with one of the attendees and we were told we were too late. Flight missed! What a heartbreak!!

As if that wasn’t enough. The next story is not funny at all. Then, l was told to see someone at the counter and that someone redirected me to one and another one. I went straight to the customer service representatives. She redirected me to follow the queue and make my complaint known. So, back to the airline representative after a long queue. I can’t help you was his response. So, l was told to see the ‘guest (kinikan).” The lady wouldn’t help me as well. Now, she said to go see the “Ministry of Hajj Rights”. After checking whatever & whatever, they said to go back to them.

Now, l was asked to pay 8500 SAR to book a new flight that will take us back to the United States. That wasn’t funny at all. I was like another $2500 after all the spending here and there? Where is that money going to come from? So, l left the place and go back to the “guest kinikan” l said l do not have any money to pay. I am just coming from spending a whole lot. I have exhausted all l have. I thought l was the only one. Not at all. We were many that needed help. But, we were asked to pay ni o. I remember a sister with her husband and children who were very angry at the lady. And two other ones whose tickets were booked for the wrong day. How about another one who had been at the airport for two days? I was telling myself, Majeedah, you do not have a choice. Still, whenever l think of the money l have to waste for that matter, l just realized tears rolling down my cheeks.

No, l can’t pay such an amount. Now, I started supplicating to Allah. I began with Solatul lbrahimiyyah, then lstigfaar. At this moment, l recall what was shown to me in the Masjid of the Prophet (Medina Al-Munawarrah). Then I began to chant Allahuma La Sahla, Bismillahi Allahuma Rahmatakha, and La illaha illa anta. So, hours passed by. Still no way out. So, l raised my head and was having a conversation with Allah in tears. I couldn’t remember anything. Cause, l have always begged Allah to not make me remember any good l do to people. But, two things strike my mind.

So, l say to Allah, Allah you remember the day l sat by the side of my bed crying to you that l have to send another money to feed the needy and the poor. I wasn’t buoyant that day. But, l did it for your sake. Oh Allah, they are your servant. Oh Allah, remember those that l cloth on Eid day from among your servant. If it is true that l have done it for your sake without expecting anything back nor was it done to show off. Please, relieve me of this burden. I do not have such an amount to pay. I can’t pay such an amount, Ya Allah.

Eventually, l was asked to bring my old ticket, the guy collected it and said to me, go get your baggage and come back to me. I will put you on another flight. That was the end of it. This whole drama took me 8 hours to resolve. I was grateful. I didn’t pay a dime when many people had to pay. It was indeed a test of faith. If one is not strong in faith, one would have questioned Allah. Indeed, it was a test of faith and l am grateful in all situations. It feels good to be home. May Allah accept our Ramadaan and Umrah.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Magic light and falling stars for science and education background

Mistakes Parents Make In Raising Children!

Giving up on them: Yes, some children are difficult to raise. But once you become tired and leave them alone, you had only added more to their problems. Never give up on your child’s challenges and behavior.

Dua: This can’t be stressed enough. That you made a dua for a particular child and it hasn’t manifested in the child’s behavior doesn’t make you relent. You must continue and be hopeful that Allah will change the child.

Not rewarding a child when he does well. A child should be praised for the little he achieved and encouraged to continue the same pattern.

Not creating time for children: We have seen cases of abandonment in children. This isn’t because both parents are divorced, but because they do not care about raising and nurturing good children. The husband works Mon – Sunday and the mother is always at work. No days are left for the children. We must prioritize our time and do less overtime if we want our children to be successful in both worlds.

No importance is attached to Islamic etiquette and teaching: Children should be taught basic Islamic education. They must be raised on pristine Islam and the fear of Allah should be cultivated in them. A child whose parent doesn’t pray may find prayer strange when advised of its importance. A child should be taught about Tawheed and what it means to be dutiful to Allah and one’s parents.

When parents overlook a child’s bad manners and character: Foremost, you must know your child’s companion and no parent should ignore a child who constantly proves no manners. Correction should be made without delay and reprimanding such behaviour approrapltely is the best.

Every child is unique in their ways: Do not compare A to B. Avoid creating destructive jealousy in their minds. Talk to each child accordingly when they are wrong and do not make a comparison in front of them. That doesn’t mean l am perfect in this area, l have done it before, but it isn’t the best. It may lead to low self-esteem and depression. Caution should be taken at all times.

May add more later, ln shaa Allah. May Allah bless our children and make them successful in both worlds.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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Live, Laugh & Love

Every pregnancy comes with its challenge. And to be blessed with the fruit of the womb is Fadhl from Allah. Indeed a blessing from the Highest (Allah). While l was pregnant with my last child, as early as the last trimester, the illness l had, couldn’t be described. From emesis (vomiting) to heartburn. The food regurgitation in the middle of my sleep couldn’t ever be forgotten. When that happens, l had to struggle to catch my breath. In the long run, l resorted to sleeping in a sitting position as the pregnancy grows. Though the pregnancy hormone (progesterone) can increase heartburn, starting in the first trimester and indigestion is common in pregnancy as well.

Furthermore, pregnant women in their late second and third trimesters may experience a condition similar to superior vena cava syndrome. This occurs when the inferior vena cava (the smaller of the two veins that transport deoxygenated blood back to the heart) gets compressed by pressure from the fetus and the enlarged uterus. This is also called Supine Hypotensive syndrome. As described above, the gravid uterus compresses the inferior vena cava when a pregnant woman is in a supine position, leading to decreased venous return centrally.

Yes, l want the baby to live like the rest. I want to see her laugh and hold her tight with love. Each time l looked at the big belly, l was always scared. I was scared of myself, the baby, and my labor. I always pray that l come back home with the baby and myself alive. I was between fear and hope. Each time l woke up pregnant, l was always thankful. And l was looking forward to the day the baby will finally arrive.

Unlike some of my children, I waited for forty weeks and some days before she finally arrived. I can’t describe how the labor went. At a point, l was going to give up on pushing. But l was encouraged to never give up. One thing l didn’t give up on, was my prayer. It was my “coat”. And Allah never leaves a servant who calls Him by His name. I am thankful she had the opportunity to live, and we finally had to laugh and raise her beautiful self, with love, mercy, and care.

I pray for all TTC sisters and as well as all pregnant women reading this. May Allah ease your affairs and May He grant you a safe delivery.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
July 1st, 2022

You Remember Eid is Around the Corner?

Indeed all power belongs to Allaah alone. Dunya is racing ahead of us. Memories take us back, while dreams take us ahead. Indeed, the life of this Dunya is nothing but temporary.

You won’t agree less with me if l say, 1438 Eid Al-Had seems to have just passed yesterday. The same way is the fact that our days are numbered on Earth.

When we were little (very small), when Eid is coming close, my Mum used to start preparing the outfit for Eid. She used to get our shoes and every other thing that goes along with it. We used to get set “mind-wise”. Too many thoughts like the get-together, the foodies, the outfits, and visits, etc…

Islam has given us more awareness of our existence in life. Islam has given us the heart to ponder, the brain to think, the mind to be prepared for death, and the tests/trials of Dunya. Islam has informed us that perhaps, while we are rejoicing that Eid is almost here, while we are thinking about the joy of that blessed day, we shouldn’t forget those who couldn’t smile like us, those who do not have food to eat on this joyous day, those who are pleading for assistance, those who have no dress to put on among men and women folks.

It’s imperative to ponder on this, same as l am doing to myself right now.

What are you giving out before Eid to make someone happy?

Who are you visiting on Eid day from the less privileged?

How about the prisoners who have said, “We can’t celebrate Eid like you”?

Would you consider them and give from what you have?

Would you call family and friends to know how you can help?

By Allaah, this post is a reminder to myself first. May Allaah grant us all the goodness on that special day. May Allaah spare our souls till then and beyond. Ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.

Eid Mubarak to you all in Advance!

Umm Sumayyah Mai
Dhul-Hijjah 7th 1439AH, Aug 2018

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I Want to Commit Suicide, Why?

This has been the statement of many sisters who are going through (PTSD). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and the outside world.

When someone tells you, l want to commit suicide, your first question is why?, Yes, why? Perhaps, at that point, you want to hear their rationales; and you definitely will want to settle for open-ended questions. It’s important to know that a lot of people are going through some kind of trauma that is affecting them emotionally and psychologically. Do not just think or say, how could she allow herself to be used by Shaytaan like that? Perhaps, it’s more than you think. It’s beyond them at some point. All they ever wanted is to speak with someone and share their pain with you.

It’s hard for most of them to forget and let go just like that. It’s hard for them to witness their parents being murdered and it’s hard for them to forget the description of the man who had raped and abused them. It’s hard for them to forget the spot and the injury incurred in the process. Not a single one of them with this diagnosis ever forgets the incident.

To the one going through some of my aforementioned plights, l want to remind you that indeed Allaah Azza Wa Jall knows why certain things happen to certain people. He knows what you do not know. He Allah takes and gives. He does as He wills and as destined. Do not take your life for the trauma you had suffered and the pain you had incurred. Do not because someone has abused you sexually and physically take your life. Do not because someone had taken the life of your loved one to commit suicide. For by Allaah, you are better than them. You are blessed by Allaah. Allah gave you many things to be thankful for. He gave you wisdom and a large heart. He gave you a tongue full of gratitude and a very inspiring soul. Life is a test, we all face it, some of us pass the trial while many of us failed woefully. Yet, we couldn’t take our souls for it. We didn’t fall into Shaytaan’s trap, because, we can’t afford to commit suicide. We can’t afford to lose our Jannah for the test of dunyah. Be strong and surround yourself with strong people. Today may be challenging, but ln shaa Allaah tomorrow is promised.

Let’s always be there for them. Be there for your sister in faith and be there for your lover in pain. Be there and let them lean on you. Let them know Dunya is temporary and Allaah has created a test/trial for a purpose. The purpose includes knowing who you are in the sight of Allah and the test that includes raising your status when you become patient and persevere when trial strikes.

We lost a good boy of 15yrs on Friday and he was buried on Saturday. This is a boy who had become a Hafiz when he was close to 13yrs. Here we are crying and pondering. Here we are thinking about ourselves, and how we will end our lives. Let’s always be thankful. Let’s always know Allah doesn’t wrong anyone. May Allah ease all of our affairs.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 24th, 2019

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Stinginess is a Disease

For a stingy man, it isn’t just about money, he may also be stingy with emotion and care. Sometimes, he might be stingy at home and be generous outside the home. A stingy person wouldn’t know the pain and suffering he is putting his family into.

Being stingy is not sacrificing for your family. Being stingy is not taking care of your family. Being stingy is leaving your responsibility for a woman to take charge.

Some men think because their wives have some little change, they will be fine, so they don’t have to worry about their responsibilities. What l learned from those ugly scenarios is simply that, they have subjected the woman to become a man in broad daylight, she is forced to do what a man is supposed to be doing. She is forced to stand in the position of a man and take care of her children herself. This happens because the stingy man has the mindset that she will be fine. She will do it. She has money to do that. The stingy man doesn’t know he is hurting her emotionally and she is not pleased with him internally. She goes through cracking her brain on how to make sure things are in order while the stingy man succeeds in making her run bankrupt. Debt over debt and worries over worries.

Allah sees those who spend on their family hoping to be rewarded by Him. There is nothing you spend on your family except that Allaah increases your wealth and accepts it from you as an act of ibadah. Real men don’t leave their responsibilities to a woman. Real men also tend to appreciate their wives’ generosity and efforts.

It is good to spend on your family, do not make it the wife’s responsibility. If you have #5,000 don’t keep it out of being stingy because you saw that your wife has #4000 and so you were hoping she should be fine. Give from what you have, women who are generous spend beyond and Allaah hasn’t ever shut the gate of mercy on them. This is why they become richer than their men. Her man is stingy, in that case, she is generous and Allaah blesses her hustle the more. It is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no day on which people wake up but two angels come down. One of them says, ‘O Allaah, compensate anyone who spends’ and the other says, ‘O Allaah, destroy the one who withholds.’” (Bukhaari)

Spend on your family. Do not be a stingy man, stinginess is a disease and it won’t make you successful if you knew. Worst are those who know the woman can’t even help herself, and talk less about her children. Take care of your responsibilities according to your capacity. Do not leave your responsibility to your woman. There is a difference in knowing you don’t have, and there is a pain in knowing you are being stingy and perhaps in knowing you spend your money outside the home forgetting your priority. May Allaah ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 17th, 2019

Renew Your Intention, Hijab Isn’t Just a Choice!

Recently, there have been some controversies among some sisters l watched on YouTube on whether Hijab is a choice or Allah’s commandment. I have heard many stories that are touching from our sisters. Some have been seen removing their Hijabs in broad daylight while they claimed Hijab is a choice one can make and not be forced on anyone. I have also seen a terrible situation with the same Hijab worn by a non-believer who wanted us to go to hell no matter our concerns.

Sincerely, it is important to admit the fact that the Hijab isn’t an easy task for some of our sisters in the deen, as such, those who are fortunate among us to wear the Hijab as ordered by Allah should count ourselves lucky. We all started somewhere, and that’s the more reason why l appreciate any sister l see in the Hijab, no matter the size of it. The fact that you begin to use it gives you credit from Allah and indeed an honor from men.

Hijab isn’t just a choice you can make. You can’t choose to wear it. Hijab is one aspect of our deen as Muslimahs that is crucial and never to be misunderstood as a mere choice. Of course, we all have a choice to choose to work hard and gain Allah’s pleasure and mercy and enter Jannah as our final abode. We also have a choice to ignore the true calls of Prophethood and enter Jahannam (Na’udubillah min dhaalik). The choice is ours. But, it should be well understood that Hijab is a commandment, an order from Allah Azza Wa Jal.

If you happen not to be a wearer of the Hijab at the moment and you want to start wearing it, it is imperative to know what Allah and Rasoolullah say about Hijab and the commandment and purify your intention. That way, you already have ample knowledge of your initial thought and the rationale for wanting to choose to please Allah and your soul. So, it will be easy to know the gravity of taking it off afterward.

As Muslimahs, we are not to follow the crowd and encourage evil, but we should know where we stand and have true knowledge of what we do. We should be able to defend our honor and pride anywhere and at any moment. We shouldn’t also blame anyone, but it’s important to pray for them and seek Allah’s aid for not going astray ourselves.

As for those sisters, who have taken off their Hijabs (big or small), l advise you to renew your intention and seek more knowledge of your deen. Perhaps obeying Allah’s order may be your means of Jannah, little do you know. Seek help from Allaah, and choose a good companion. Read and listen to those who are calling you to goodness and always remember the severity of Allah’s punishment when we go out of orders. Also, remember how merciful Allah is when we obey his orders. May Allah rectify our affairs.

Yaa Muqallibal Quloob Thabit Quluubana ‘Alaa Deenik.
“Oh turner of the hearts (Allah, the Highest), keep our hearts firm on your religion“

Umm Sumayyah Mai
June 17th, 2020