Memory Bank for the Kids

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

The last place l drove to with the kids was North Carolina. Today, June 29th, l was supposed to have been on the road driving to New York. But, l told them to allow me to sleep this morning. Let me be the one that wakes up myself. I was at work yesterday.  

It’s going to be a month of summer holiday for them and each summer we plan to go somewhere, book a hotel, have fun and return after 3 or 4 days. I have loved doing it with the kids. I always look forward to it each summer.

It’s important to create a memory bank for the kids, aside from the Deen if you have the means. Let them remember days like that when they grow up. I heard my kids talking about each state we had driven to for holidays and l always felt special about it. I am happy they were given every fun they deserved. However, l do not want to do more than 9 hrs drive. That’s kinda enough for me

Look, you do not have to go to New York or whatever, you can create a time for your kids as well. Take them out to an ice cream shop, let them go to a halal restaurant, and have halal fun. May Allah enrich us all. Let me see if my New York trip will work out today or not. May Allah ease all of our affairs.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

My Prayer to My First Daughter

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Your children will take good care of you too. That was my prayer to my first daughter last night after she washed, cleansed, and combed my hair beautifully. The hair is set to be done today by her, lnn Shaa Allah.

I was so relaxed with a towel on my neck having her do the great work on my head. See, it’s good to have a girl child. And it’s crucial to raise your children well. Try your best to invest in them. They are indeed your priority as a mother. May Allah protect them from all evil. Amyin!

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Fans, I See You!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

 have heard and seen brothers who are struggling to put a smile on the faces of their wives and children. They are working hard to get them Eid dresses and also purchase what to slaughter on the big day. Alas, many ain’t buoyant and may not meet up before Eid. 

I see you, bro! Allah sees your struggle. He knows how much you care about your family and He hasn’t forsaken you. May Allah enrich you.

I see my beautiful sisters who are taking a deep breath. Yes, they want to be happy like other women. But things ain’t going well as wished.

Be patient, sister. Be patient with your husband my dear, sister. Allah will enrich him. Allah will uplift him sooner than you expected. It isn’t his fault. Appreciate him for the little he is doing. May Allah reward your patience with Jannah. May He ease the affairs of our home.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

An Excerpt from “Thriving Together”

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Polygny is a practice approved of by Allāh,and it can not be overruled by the personal desire of any human .In fact bearing in mind that it’s a Divine ordainment for men should help a true Muslimah to submit to the decree of Allāh.This is the period to exercise patience and bear the pain with total reliance on Allāh.
Yes it’s easier said than done.but remember that I have been there’ and I write based on personal experience.Its normal to be hurt .It is okay to cry .But remember to hold on to the rope of Allāh.
Tell Allāh. “Here I am a submissive servant of yours.A promise to do it for your sake!
I promise to accept her for ur sake !
My living and my death are solely for you O Allāh help me to be firm, submissive and grant me steadfastness I am about to take on a huge task so help me ,O Allāh
Go and buy this interesting book from
Source:
THRIVING TOGETHER: STRATEGY FOR OVERCOMING POLYGYNY TRIALS

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Two Ways Your Brand or Name Can Become Spoiled

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

There are two ways your brand or name can become spoiled and extremely difficult to rectify.

1. If you are not known to be truthful, sincere, and of good integrity, you may not be able to rectify the damage your action or inaction has caused you online.

2. If you are known to be honest and of good manners and integrity, some people will still believe what is said about you to the general public. But, your personality and truthfulness will speak for you. This may take time, but your brand will eventually be rectified.

The first is the worst position you do not want to be. Ensure to always maintain a good reputation in both private and public life. No one is perfect but as a business personnel, you must be extremely careful. Hence, you may regret you ever come to the media for business. May Allah rectify us all.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

IMG-20240119-WA0003

You May Not Follow The Media

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

There are so many things to look into when it comes to a marriage proposal. The man Aqeedah, what is the person’s Manhaj? Compatibility in Deen and Character. His patience and mannerisms. How about his anger and how caring he is? Is he someone who has mercy and love in his heart? How is he to his parent and sisters?

 

You must be able to establish those factors.

Get to thoroughly find out whom he has lived with, transacted business with, and traveled with.

 

Let me burst your bubble.

 

I do not say you should accept a proposal from a man who can’t feed himself and does not have a roof to put you under. I do not say you should reject the proposal of a wealthy brother. But, be smart enough to look above wealth. Look before you leap. Again, thoroughly make your findings. Look before you leap. Deen superseded wealth.

 

In 2003, l married my only husband who was earning 10k monthly and still living in his parent’s house. Wo, this poor woman has gone through a lot in marriage. Get my books for more tips on how to become a successful woman in Dunya and Akhirah. My first book “Towards A Successful Marriage” (buy it here) will assist you a lot before saying, Yes, l do. My second book  “Heart-to-Heart with My Sister” (buy it here) will calm your Nafs to thread patiently and have a forgiving heart toward your husband. My third book “Thriving Together Strategies for Overcoming Polygny Trials”  (buy it here) will assist you in overcoming the trials of a polygyny marriage. May Allah accept and bless all the books.

 

See, money is very, very, important. But, l am a woman of Tawakkul. But, be sure you are not fooling yourself around with a man who does not give a freak. May Allah grant you the best.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Consistency is Key

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Consistency creates stability and it’s the key to success in all areas of life. We are advised to choose a habit we can maintain, and build on it.

 

It is the same consistency that makes you become recognized in the sight of Allah. Once you become addicted, say for example, in observing Qiyam Layl. Allah already recognized you. And if you fall short due to sickness or are overtaken by sleep, you will be getting a reward for what you love doing.

 

It is inconsistency in prayers that makes some people question who their LORD is. This makes them seek help from others other than Allah.

 

It is consistency that is missing in relationships, friendships, and marriage at large. Many of us do not want to sacrifice to maintain love and build solid homes for a better generation to come. We are quick to give up.

Inconsistency has made a man or woman who had vowed to be considerate, loving, and merciful towards each other forget the reward that comes with it in both worlds. And indeed Allah loves those who are consistent in worship. However, not many people understand that marriage itself is worship. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Beyond Money!

by with No Comment HEART-TO-HEART TALK

Again, marriage is a complex thing. What works in your home may not work in others’ homes. So, before you walk away due to his financial inadequacy, try to see other goods in him.

It may not be ideal to marry anyone who does not have a roof to put you under – nor is it compulsory to marry a billionaire. That doesn’t mean you should say No if you find one whose Din and character please you alongside his wealth. Who doesn’t like good things? A man who is attracted by your beauty should also be ready to spend on you to maintain that beauty.

However, a religious, kind-hearted man may be an average man in finance. That makes sticking with him crucial after thorough findings before saying Yes, I do. Saying ‘Yes’ to him may be considered an opportunity to grow in love and mercy. Your intention of marriage with him is beyond money, but patience. Eventually, when the money comes, he will utilize it considerably.

Money is indeed needed in all relationships. A man should always have something he does regardless. But, love, mercy, and compatibility in Din and characters should never be ignored. If your husband is trying, try to endure. Do not leave the marriage without considering other factors.

May Allah enrich our spouses. May He ease the affairs of our homes.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

She Became Unconscious During Tawaf!

by with No Comment FIQH

We were three companions seeking the face of our lord when we stumbled upon a lady who appeared stressed, restless, and suddenly became unconscious. This is evidenced by her falling right in front of us on the ground. I recall she was yelling and crying out loud before she lay bare flat on the floor, right in between Tawaf where thousands are circumambulating. I am not sure what went wrong. I am yet to fully understand it. I was thinking it may be the heat or shortness of breath from hypoxemia which affects the brain. Perhaps she wanted to touch the K’aaba or have just experienced touching it. Most people die within 10 minutes of total oxygen deprivation. She was diaphoretic (sweating profusely) due to the heat. I immediately loosed her gown to prevent airway constriction.

It was Shaykh Akim Kutubi that first saw her and we immediately rushed to assist her. I checked to make sure she had a pause through the carotid artery whilst Al-Imam was yelling out for help. He was speaking out loud in Arabic so that we could get more help to carry her beautiful soul away from being stepped over. I am not sure they heard us. Or simply say, no one wants to stop their tawaf.

l told my son, carry her, don’t be tired. Three of us were struggling whilst we continued to carry this lady to an open place for fresh air and safety. I continued to check that she still had a pause. After some minutes, the police joined us helping to clear the road and open the closed barriers. One or two other men said we understood her language and they offered to assist us.

At this time, we were at a safe place and people were pouring water on her. I was worried about the water they were pouring into her mouth. It may go to the wrong place(the lungs). So, we had her sit down on a chair whilst she became conscious and able to answer our calls. Shayk Kutubi and I said, we have been hearing this happen to people but never experienced it until that day.

I was happy we were able to ‘save a soul.’ May Allah accept it. I didn’t write to show you our deeds in Ka’aba. This is just me sharing my experience with you. The passion for helping others in my two companions amazed me. They were bold, strong, and determined. They never left her until she regained consciousness. May Allah grant them Jannah through it. May He not deprive us of the reward therein.

 

Lessons:

  1. Women are not like men when it comes to Tawaf.
  2. Always be there to render help to others. Put others before yourself.
  3. Go for Umrah/Hajj if you have the means before you become weak.
  4. You will not die except by Allah’s leave and upon your predestined time and land.
  5. Have it in mind that death may come to you even during Tawaf. So, ask Allah for forgiveness and Jannah during your Tawaf and not just about the matters of Dunya.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

April 27th, 2023

Repost.

 

 

Unusual Signs and Symptoms

by with No Comment HEALTH AND FITNESS

Poverty and ignorance in our dear country are other factors to talk about. A man who starts to feel the usual in his body system refuses to go for a check-up because of money.

Perhaps, if not for ignorance, he wouldn’t have neglected the unusual signs and symptoms until they worsened.  Except in cases where they won’t attempt to attend to him until he makes a consultant payment.  And that makes it more difficult for people in that category.

Still, always make a consultation about your health even if it’s a headache. Persistent headaches may be a tumor in your brain and may be a sign of stroke or bleeding in your brain.  And it may just be an ordinary stress and lifestyle changes you may need to make and adopt.

Anytime you notice the unusual, always seek medical help. Please, always.  Don’t wait and not talk about it.  Please, talk about it.  Seek medical help and allow Allah to take care of the rest.

I have lost many people due to this. We need more healthcare awareness to curb this menace. I am working to be part of those who will save more lives. May Allah make it successful.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai