A follow-up post: Following my previous post on unresolved issues. After your voice has been heard and necessary precautions and solutions to your plight have been rectified by reasonable and qualified people, it’s time for you to be patient and keep him in your prayers.

Remember that Shaytan can influence your home, so work on becoming the best version of yourself. Focus on areas he complained about, acknowledging that you’re not perfect either. 

Don’t expect changes to be perfect right away, but rest assured they’ll take effect In shaa ‘Allah. See him as a human who, like you, isn’t perfect, and continue praying. If changes aren’t made, gently bring it to his attention, and if necessary, report it again. As long as you’ve done your part beautifully, remember that relationships involve two people. May He rectify the affairs of our homes. 

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Always avoid the blame game.

We need to learn to listen more, acknowledge our mistakes, and apologize. The other night, I questioned my husband about something I thought was wrong. However, he provided proof that clarified his intention, which differed from what I had understood. After seeing the proof, I was confused but chose to remain silent.

For a marriage to last, it’s essential to stop the blame game, compromise when necessary, and overlook our spouse’s shortcomings. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Then, l will be naked along with many males and females; uncircumcised, barefoot, and waiting for my judgment. The result of what l did in Dunya. I will not be able to see if sister Maryam is not putting on underwear, nor will I have the time to check if Brother Lukman has covered his private part. I, along with many other people will be overwhelmed. Waiting, waiting, and waiting in fear and humiliation. 

I will be waiting under the scorching sun. And l will be sweating until my turn is reached and or perhaps until my name is called. I will not be able to look for my “Treasured Love.” Nor will l be asking for my children. I, alongside many other people, at that time, will perhaps be restless, tired, scared, and scattered. I will not remember my siblings nor will l look out for my parents. 

I will be more shocked, surprised, and scared when the contents of graves become scattered. And the sky breaks apart. And the stars fall, scattering. And the heaven split open. I will be more scared when my hands and feet begin to speak of what they used to earn. Of what l did with them while l was on the surface of the earth.

And l, alongside many other people (male & female), will be brought to account for every major and minor action we did in this world, whether it was good or bad. And we will be rewarded for our good deeds and perhaps be questioned about our bad deeds. I am scared and scared penning this down, right now. 

And when the “Lord of the Majestic throne say to the Angels, Look at My slave’s prayer, is it complete or lacking?’ If it is complete, it will be recorded as complete, but if it is lacking, He will say, ‘Look and see whether my slave did any voluntary (naafil) prayers.’ If he had done voluntary prayers, He would say, ‘Complete the obligatory prayers of My slave from his voluntary prayers.’ Then the rest of his deeds will be examined similarly.” 

And we would be asked about other matters. At this point, l do not know what l will be saying. And perhaps, the answers l will give when these five questions are asked: “My life and how l spent it, my youth and how l used it, my wealth and how acquired it, and how l disposed of it, and how l acted upon what l acquired of knowledge.

Oh Allah! Do not humiliate me on the day of judgment. Oh Allah! Do not put me to shame on the day of the greatest fear. Oh Allah! Conceal all my faults. Oh Allah erase all my sins. Oh Allah! Do not disgrace us. Oh Allah! Be merciful with us, overlook our shortcomings, and grant us steadfastness upon your Deen! Ya Rabbal ‘A’alaameen!

1.  – Umm Sumayyah Mai

#Repost

1. Allah has blessed us with Islam and the Sunnah, and we must show our gratitude through actions and words. One thing is to seek Allah’s aid and assistance, but when the prayers are answered, do we maintain that connection with our Lord? 

We all know ourselves and how lax we’ve become with our deen. We’ve forgotten how we used to be devoted to our daily prayers, night prayers, and remembrance of Allah. The affairs of this temporary world have taken over these beautiful practices.

Will you renew your contract with Allah today? Ensure that you’re always in connection with Allah, no matter what you do. Establish routines and be consistent. May Allah assist us all.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

As a Muslimah, it’s essential to be someone who is respected and loved for her humility, kindness, and character. The little kindness you sacrifice and show to others means a lot; it speaks volumes about who you are and the identity you portray. Yes, people can be naughty sometimes, but your manner of dealing with them will earn you respect in front of everyone. Be someone known for helping others.

By Allah, I have two reasons for writing this post. It’s crucial to be different and, more importantly, to be someone people can vouch for even in your absence. You don’t only show kindness to your fellow Muslim but also to others, regardless of their religion or status. May Allah make us better.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Perhaps Allah knows he’s not good for you and is protecting you from future challenges. A failed marriage can lead to significant worries and depression for women.

He may have left you for a reason known only to him, and it’s possible he’s not the right fit. A man who complains about your religious practices or dress code is a red flag, indicating incompatibility in faith. If he leaves you for another woman, consider yourself blessed by Allah’s protection.

Let’s be clear: you can’t change a man’s level of religious commitment. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can mold him to your standards. Recognize the red flags and accept Allah’s decree. Marriage is a serious commitment, not a trivial matter.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Marriage isn’t child’s play; as such, you must choose carefully and intelligently. As a Muslim, whether you are male or female, seeking a compatible partner involves considering many factors. By prioritizing compatibility, you need to identify your non-negotiables, such as your deen, mode of dressing, halal lifestyle, truthfulness, trustworthiness, integrity, and leadership. 

Before saying ‘I do,’ learn to know your priorities. Know what you’re looking for in a man or woman. You must look for a partner who shares the same Islamic values and principles as you: someone reliable, respectful, and supportive, with good character, morals, and manners. Someone who listens effectively, has good communication and conflict-resolution skills, good financial stability, emotional maturity, and accountability. Above all, someone with sound creed, piety, and humility.

I know you’ve been waiting for the right person to come your way. When the opportunity arises, take the advice and support of your family, friends, and community seriously. Seek guidance and Allah’s help through Istikhara. This isn’t the time to overlook checking a person’s background or associations. Be patient and don’t rush into a decision without making your findings, with the help of your parents and others. May Allah grant your heart’s desire.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE BANKING SYSTEM IN KANO STATE, NIGERIA AS A WOMAN WHO USES THE FACE VEIL (NIQAAB)

It was on Monday morning, 14th April, 2025 when my co-co and I stepped into the banking hall of one of the conventional banks to sort out some issues. At the entrance, the security officer ( male) made it known to us that I might be asked to take off/raise my niqaab once I’m indoors. In fact, we regretted not getting facemasks should we encounter any problem with the bank and it’s disposition towards the niqaab. My co-co even offered to give me her face towel but I said there was no need till we’re in the hall.

Once in, a female security officer just stopped us and said in a very mean and condescending manner, ‘Remove that thing from your face. Nobody will attend to you if you don’t remove that thing’. My co-co tried explaining and talking to her calmly and even making small jokes with her, but she was adamant and that was when my head also ‘sparked’.

I went to her and told her in my most English diction, ‘First, what you call ‘that thing’ has a name. It is called ‘niqaab’. And why should I take it off?’ By then, a customer care officer had joined her and started stating that it is the bank’s policy they’re simply following as the bank doesn’t allow those wearing niqaab into the premises’.

I responded with, ‘Alright, since it’s the bank policy, definitely, it’ll be officially stated somewhere, can I see where it is documented, so that I can just simply close down my account here if the bank deems me not fit to be their customer?’

She then said, ‘Hajia, it’s not fight now, as you can see, I’m smiling and trying to make you understand. I believe you’re exposed…’

‘And that’s more reason I’m highly disappointed in this bank. In this age and stage in 2025 Kano State, we’re still battling with this when you can simply make provisions for special customers like me’.

Yes, I was ready for a fight. I went there prepared. I went there rehearsing what answers to give to any confrontation. I went there with one of my ‘correctest’ jilbaab and my sallah shoes. At least, when they try to rate my social status, they would be confused especially with my deliberate Queens elocution( I pronounced the ted in disappointed as/tid/ not /ted/ and other words that the average Nigerian does not bother about). I still have PTSD from what happened at Ado Bayero mall last year and I’ll not allow anyone bully me again because of my niqaab without a fight.

Before I knew it, I was handed a form to fill with regards my complaint. I then went to the inner section where I’ll be attended to. I overheard the security officer woman telling one of the bankers that Mr so and so had already said he wouldn’t attend me if I don’t remove my niqaab.

At this time, my co-co was also pissed off and was sad that her phone was off( mine too), else she would have recorded all the rubbish they were doing.

When I got to the Mr so and so, he went through my form and through my thumb print, he verified the account. Then came, ‘You have to lift your veil for me to identify you’. Calmly, respectfully, politely but firmly, I requested, ‘Could you please ask any of your female colleague to do that for me?’

‘If I get a female to ID you, there would be no problem, right?’, he inquired.

‘Absolutely not’, I responded, ‘That’s the only favour I ask’. He then asked his female colleague to do that and we were done.

Before he finally agreed though, he said how would he know that I was the one, and my co-co replied with, ‘Her details filled in the form is the same as on the screen and her thumb print accessed the account’. He then smiled this, ‘That was a caught’ smile.

The next banker who was to activate my ATM card wanted to also try after I had been verified. He said, ‘What if it was your twin sister who owns the account? We’ve had cases like that’ Sharply, I replied, ‘My twin sister and I wouldn’t have the same fingerprint, right?’ He proceeded to conclude the process, I thanked him and the lady who verified me and we waltzed out of the bank.

Happy customer, happy/disgruntled bank. Whatever.

Maryooma Maryam Ikaki Umm Maymoonah

• Women go through a lot. From childbearing to child-rearing, success for a smart woman comes when they raise, nurture, and see their sacrifices as fruitful for their children. A good woman goes the extra mile to raise successful children, not just in this life but in the hereafter.

Sometimes, we may appear strong, energetic, and determined, but we may be tired and just need a hug and a thank you for what we’ve done. Just because a woman stays in the house doesn’t mean she’s not doing anything; in fact, she does a lot. So, it’s possible for her to be tired and only want to share that with you. It’s possible that you’re tired after a long day of work and all you need is a good sleep.

Again, it’s what makes a marriage successful – sacrifice: the sacrifice to listen, the sacrifice to learn, the sacrifice to show sympathy and empathy towards one another, and the sacrifice to forgive and endure each other’s shortcomings. Your wife needs that from you, and it’s very important to learn that your husband is human too. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

In this life, whatever you can do to assist others, do it regardless. You don’t need to wait for people to even ask you. Today, I had two nursing students paired with me who were rounding up nursing school and preparing for their NCLEX exam. They were asking me questions, and I was answering with good vibes.

Upon leaving the hospital before their briefing, they came to me and asked if I would be working the next weekend. I said no. They asked about the following weekend, and I said no again. They weren’t happy and asked which weekend I would be working. I said the third weekend. They replied, “We will request for you.” I smiled out loud.

They said they would follow everything I told them. I emphasized the importance of preparing well and not just rushing or delaying too long. I also stressed the importance of reading the rationale behind every single question they missed while practicing and preparing for the exam, among other things.

Sincerely, if they follow my advice, Insha’Allah, they will remember me and probably pray for me or say thank you. This life isn’t difficult. All it takes is a sacrifice for others, and Allah’s reward awaits you. May Allah make us better than what people think of us.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai