Indeed, losing one’s soulmate can take a while to heal in the heart. It often leaves one feeling sick, depressed, and sad for a long time. Those who have gone through this trial or are currently experiencing it understand exactly how it feels – the pain and the burden of the loss. It becomes even more challenging if the one affected is a woman with children and no steady income. The situation is even more disheartening if she’s expecting a baby or has recently become pregnant. We’ve seen cases like this, and they’ve always been frightening.

One of our sisters recently lost her husband, leaving behind three children, and currently, all we can offer her is SABR (patience). Indeed, patience is crucial during such inevitable situations. We pray to Allah to ease her pain and worries, protect the children, and grant them success in both worlds. May He bring solace to her heart and grant the family the strength to bear the loss. Above all, may Allah forgive our brother, overlook his sins, and grant him Jannah. Ya Rabbal ‘A’lamin. Only those who’ve lost a spouse truly understand the depth of the pain.

Umm Sumayyah Mai.

November. 2020

There’s always something that resonates with me whenever I think of giving up on marriage during the most difficult times of my life. Marriage is life – full of joy, hopes, and aspirations. Yet, it can also be a test for some of us. If your spouse isn’t your trial, that’s a blessing to be grateful for. If marriage hasn’t tested your patience threshold, that’s worth acknowledging.

Some memories hold me back from giving up – my husband’s unwavering support during my nursing school years, being there for our children, especially before my mother arrived, and his significant financial contributions toward my school fees. These gestures mean the world to me and allow me to fall back on them.

Your husband might not have been financially supportive in the same way, but I’m sure he has contributed in other meaningful ways. Reflect on the good times and why you’ve stayed in your marriage this long. It’s unlikely he’s been bad all these years. Take a deep breath and try to approach your challenges with a clearer mind. This might be your test – navigate it with care and patience.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

In life, we meet people who leave behind a beautiful mark. Sometimes, we journey with individuals who not only put smiles on our faces but also transform our lives completely. Yes, every human is born with a gift – the gift to inspire, explore, and conquer. This blessing is evident to all creatures. It’s a rare gift given by Allah, the Most High.

You know yourself better than anyone. What is the gift you’re hiding? What is the blessing you don’t want to use to explore and change people’s lives? For me, Allah has blessed me with a pen that I pray will never fade. He’s given me a large heart, and I’m grateful. May He protect me from every evil among men and jinn.

So, think about you. Reflect on that gift and spread your wings for others to fly. Don’t hide your talent; use it, embrace it, and apply it intentionally. Good morning!

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

It’s that time of the year when everyone joyously celebrates. The children beautifully play and enjoy the serenity. Now is the perfect opportunity to celebrate and pamper your wife for all her hard work throughout the last 12 months. If you’re able to get her a beautiful Eid outfit, kudos to you! If not, there’s still room for pampering. Take her out on a date, or plan a vacation with her – a romantic getaway, just the two of you. Let’s learn to appreciate our women and show them love and care sincerely. Every woman wants to be loved and appreciated. She’s your wife; give her the attention and love she deserves.

Remember, it’s the thought that counts, not the price tag. A heartfelt gesture, a listening ear, or a helping hand can mean the world to her. Show her that you value her efforts, her love, and her presence in your life. Let’s make this Eid a special one for our wives, and may our homes be filled with love, peace, and happiness. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes and bless our relationships.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

It’s that time of the year when everyone joyously celebrates. The children beautifully play and enjoy the serenity. Now is the perfect opportunity to celebrate and pamper your wife for all her hard work throughout the last 12 months. If you’re able to get her a beautiful Eid outfit, kudos to you! If not, there’s still room for pampering. Take her out on a date, or plan a vacation with her – a romantic getaway, just the two of you. Let’s learn to appreciate our women and show them love and care sincerely. Every woman wants to be loved and appreciated. She’s your wife; give her the attention and love she deserves.

Remember, it’s the thought that counts, not the price tag. A heartfelt gesture, a listening ear, or a helping hand can mean the world to her. Show her that you value her efforts, her love, and her presence in your life. Let’s make this Eid a special one for our wives, and may our homes be filled with love, peace, and happiness. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes and bless our relationships.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

There is no perfect marriage, nor a perfect man or woman out there. Perfection belongs to Allah alone. So, let’s not expect too much from our spouses. As I wrote in my book, “Can love be too much?” our core love should be, first and foremost, for Allah. It’s wonderful to love, and love is indeed life-giving and sweet. However, giving our utmost love to Allah should be our top priority.

There’s no perfect partner out there, and you often don’t know someone’s true character until you live with them. If challenges arise in your marriage, you receive support from loved ones, and the issue is resolvable; try to be patient. Listen to and work with people who genuinely care about you and want the best for your relationship. I understand that unresolved issues can accumulate and lead people to leave their marriages. But if yours can still be salvaged, and your partner is willing to work through issues and take accountability, please consider listening and giving it a chance.

Men who truly love and care about their partners will go the extra mile to keep them happy because they recognize their worth. Every marriage is unique, and the reasons people leave are different. Your story is distinct, and it’s not going to be the same as someone else’s. Learning to listen and not focusing on every mistake your partner makes is crucial. Marriage works when both partners are willing to work together for peace. If your marriage can be resolved, I encourage you to hold on to it and work through the challenges.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Don’t let the pain consume you tonight. The weight of your heart is seen by Allah, the One who crafted every emotion – the pain, the sadness, the joy, and the trials. He’s the One testing your resolve. I can sense the depth of your hurt and the discomfort you’ve been carrying. I’m aware of the stress that’s burdening your heart, the worries that cloud your thoughts, and the emotions that color your words. I see you, and I feel your pain. But here’s the truth: you’re not alone.

In the midst of this darkness, know that Allah’s love and mercy surround you. He’s closer to you than your jugular vein, and He’s aware of every tear that’s fallen. It’s okay to not be okay, but don’t let the pain define you. You are strong, resilient, and capable of navigating this storm.

May Allah’s peace and comfort envelop you, soothing the ache in your heart. May His guidance illuminate your path, and may you find solace in His words. You are loved, you are valued, and you are not forgotten. Hold on to hope, and know that better days are ahead.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai

Then, l will be naked along with many males and females; uncircumcised, barefoot, and waiting for my judgment. The result of what l did in Dunya. I will not be able to see if sister Maryam is not putting on underwear, nor will I have the time to check if Brother Lukman has covered his private part. I, along with many other people will be overwhelmed. Waiting, waiting, and waiting in fear and humiliation. 

I will be waiting under the scorching sun. And l will be sweating until my turn is reached and or perhaps until my name is called. I will not be able to look for my “Treasured Love.” Nor will l be asking for my children. I, alongside many other people, at that time, will perhaps be restless, tired, scared, and scattered. I will not remember my siblings nor will l look out for my parents. 

I will be more shocked, surprised, and scared when the contents of graves become scattered. And the sky breaks apart. And the stars fall, scattering. And the heaven split open. I will be more scared when my hands and feet begin to speak of what they used to earn. Of what l did with them while l was on the surface of the earth.

And l, alongside many other people (male & female), will be brought to account for every major and minor action we did in this world, whether it was good or bad. And we will be rewarded for our good deeds and perhaps be questioned about our bad deeds. I am scared and scared penning this down, right now. 

And when the “Lord of the Majestic throne say to the Angels, Look at My slave’s prayer, is it complete or lacking?’ If it is complete, it will be recorded as complete, but if it is lacking, He will say, ‘Look and see whether my slave did any voluntary (naafil) prayers.’ If he had done voluntary prayers, He would say, ‘Complete the obligatory prayers of My slave from his voluntary prayers.’ Then the rest of his deeds will be examined similarly.” 

And we would be asked about other matters. At this point, l do not know what l will be saying. And perhaps, the answers l will give when these five questions are asked: “My life and how l spent it, my youth and how l used it, my wealth and how acquired it, and how l disposed of it, and how l acted upon what l acquired of knowledge.

Oh Allah! Do not humiliate me on the day of judgment. Oh Allah! Do not put me to shame on the day of the greatest fear. Oh Allah! Conceal all my faults. Oh Allah erase all my sins. Oh Allah! Do not disgrace us. Oh Allah! Be merciful with us, overlook our shortcomings, and grant us steadfastness upon your Deen! Ya Rabbal ‘A’alaameen! 

 – Umm Sumayyah Mai 

#Repost

Life is full of ups and downs, and tests are inevitable. As humans, we’re imperfect – perfection belongs to Allah alone. When trials hit hard, remember to turn back to Allah, who has allowed you to go through them. 

In a recent discussion with some sisters online, I emphasized the importance of not comparing your marriage to others. Each of us faces unique trials, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Learn to navigate your own challenges and strive for the best. Having a supportive spouse is a blessing from Allah. 

Find comfort in patience and work on perseverance. Let prayer be your solace, and seek help when needed. If you’ve done your best and things don’t work out as planned, you will not be blamed for it, and your efforts will be rewarded by trusting in Allah. Make decisions calmly, and don’t forget to forgive yourself. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.

– Umm Sumayyah Mai