The social media

The Social Media World!

Again, if Allah has blessed you with righteous children and spouses who refrain from posting nonsense on social media, consider it a rare blessing. The social media world grows crazier by the day, especially with some women exhibiting tons of craziness.

As a Muslim woman who strives to live and die modestly for the sake of her Lord, protecting her honor and dignity, I find many actions taken by women saddening. Although most of these women may not be religiously inclined, it still baffles me. I feel shy for them, and I think, maybe they should take everyone’s phone away, although that’s impossible.

The world is getting worse, and many are unaware of what lies beyond death and the grave. I can only continue to caution myself and my daughters and share a message here. Our Muslim brethren must avoid imitating these crazy acts, especially our youngsters. As the Hadith suggests, beware of entering “lizard holes.” Be cautious of what you imitate on social media. This life is only temporary enjoyment. May Allah grant us steadfastness.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Your husband can never possess all you desire in a man

No, it’s not possible! You too don’t have all he wants in a woman, remember. Why is this so? It’s simply because neither you nor he is perfect.

My dear, don’t try leaving that marriage, if it is not:

1. apostasy;

2. promiscuity;

3. financial irresponsibility (such as deliberate stinginess);

4. physical or emotional violence;

5. sexual incapability; and

6. premeditated abandonment.

The decision to take a walk due to one, some or all of the above should only be made after frantic efforts to put him right had proven abortive. You should have either spoken to a wise elder or a marriage counsellor to help arbitrate in the matter. This is because:

1. a man who apostatises may heed correction and end up a better Muslim;

2. a man who yearns to have a taste of anything under skirt may become the most faithful husband;

3. a stingy man, if spoken to, may end up the most generous;

4. a man who pounds his wife, if therapeutically handled, may become the calmest husband on earth;

5. a man whose manhood hardly rises for bedding showdown may end up a fabulous wrestler on the war ring et cetera.

Every other thing aside the aforementioned may be enduringly managed till death does you both part. Things such as:

1. he’s poor (That is no fault of his, if laziness isn’t the cause. The poorest man today may become the richest tomorrow, remember);

2. he doesn’t help me do house chores;

3. he snores;

4. He farts;

5. he doesn’t tell me he loves me;

6. he doesn’t wish me a happy birthday;

7. he doesn’t take me out often;

8. I can’t bear a second wife;

9. he doesn’t call nor visit my parents like he does with his;

You may add to the list.

If you leave a man because he doesn’t do something, the other man you will later come across, because he’s no Angel, will equally have his own shortcomings, and his may even be more injurious to bear.

What makes one last in marriage is endurance. As you enjoy, you endure. Don’t expect too much.

Sanni Kay Yūsuf

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He Needs You Now

I am human, with feelings, and blood flows through my veins like everyone else’s. Losing a child, let alone multiple children is nothing I will ever forget about this unforeseen tragedy. I have been there. I know what it takes to lose two pregnancies, let alone a grown-up niece. I am a woman, a mother, and a registered nurse. I have strong emotions. I humbly ask Allah to console the bereaved parents.

The principal of the Islamic School where the tragedy occurred is in my prayers. So is Queen Naomi, who did what I can do as someone who loves giving charity. People may not understand; it’s inbuilt. It’s hard to stop giving if you are a genuine, sincere giver. Even when you wish to stop due to circumstances, like the stampede that happened in Ibadan recently. May Allah grant them both ease.

Alhaji Oriyomi Hamzat is sincerely in need of your prayers as a Muslim and, most importantly, as someone who has benefited from him before this tragedy. Now is the time for the old, the young, the orphans, and the widows he has helped to intensify their prayers. I have never spoken with him before in my life. I only appreciate him for standing tall for others, regardless of their faith. That alone is enough for me to continue spreading this word.

Our brother needs our prayers. He needs us to be there for him during this critical period of his life. Allah hasn’t created anyone whom He doesn’t have control over. He is the Mighty, the Lord of the Majestic Throne. May Allah not leave you to yourself, even in the blink of an eye. May you all come out sound, safe, and well. Amin.

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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A Difficult Reality

When I tell people that I’m uncompromising when it comes to my children, they often press for clarification. Beyond acknowledging that children are a sacred trust (Amanah) from Allah, I’m committed to raising them according to the principles of pristine Islam.

As you cherish your children, remember those who face challenges in this regard. Sisters often ask me for advice on how to cope with a husband struggling with infertility, and I’m often at a loss for words. This is because the reality is harsh and unforgiving. It’s difficult to advise someone to leave their spouse, and ultimately, the decision rests with the individual.

I’ve had the privilege of meeting men who acknowledge the sacrifices made by their wives in such situations, and it’s essential to recognize that blame is not the solution. Infertility is a significant challenge that demands empathy and understanding.

Couples facing this trial should seek help without delay. Procrastination can exacerbate the issue, leading to further complications. May Allah ease the struggles of all those navigating this difficult reality.

 

Umm Sumayyah Mai

Thinking about life

Time Fleeting, Memories Remaining

The days blend into weeks, and the weeks into months, have you ever stopped to ponder the transience of life? The passage of time is relentless, leaving us with only memories of what has been. Ramadan’s approach is a pitiful reminder of the fleeting nature of our existence. As December arrives, I find myself reflecting on the year that has passed. Have I merely added another year to my life, or have I truly lived?

My heart trembles as I consider the wrongs I have committed, often carelessly and without mindfulness. The passing of days is a stark reminder of the fragility of life. I am humbled by the thought of those who have departed this world, leaving behind only memories.

I am also reminded of the distractions that consume our lives – the endless hours spent on social media, the temptations that surround us, and the secrets we keep hidden. And yet, despite these distractions, we must remember that our time on this earth is limited. The inevitability of death is a reality we cannot escape. The Angel of Death will come for each of us, and we will be called to account for our deeds. And so, I ask myself: am I prepared to meet my Lord? Have I lived a life that is pleasing to Him?

Indeed, the pursuit of worldly wealth and possessions is a fleeting endeavor. Let us not forget to prepare for the life that is to come. May Allah guide us on the path of righteousness and grant us the wisdom to live a life that is pleasing to Him. I am sober! I am indeed humbled, Oh, Allah!

Umm Sumayyah Mai

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An Excerpt from My New Book Fabulous at Forty-Five: Designing Your Next Chapter.

“Oh Allah, as I stand before You in my forties, I reflect on the journey that has brought me to this moment. I am grateful for the blessings You have bestowed upon me, for the opportunities I have had, and for the lessons I have learned.

As I look to the future, I pray that You guide me to live a life of intention, purpose, and joy. Help me to prioritize my relationship with You, to nurture my soul, and to cultivate a sense of inner peace.

Grant me the wisdom to let go of the things that no longer serve me, to release the burdens that weigh me down, and to embrace the beauty of simplicity.

As I navigate the challenges of midlife, I pray that You give me the strength to be resilient, the courage to be vulnerable, and the faith to trust in Your plan.

Help me to be a source of love, compassion, and kindness to those around me. Grant me the ability to forgive myself and others, to let go of grudges, and to cultivate a sense of empathy and understanding.

Oh Allah, I ask that You bless me with good health, with a strong and resilient heart, and with a mind that is clear and focused. Bless me with the opportunity to continue growing, learning, and evolving as a Muslimah.”

Excerpts from the book Fabulous at Forty-Five: Designing Your Next Chapter.

Umm Sumayyah Mai