A while ago, I took a job that was over an hour away from our home. One snowy morning, I was scheduled to work, but the roads were covered in snow and I was terrified of driving. I asked my husband if he could take me, and without hesitation, he agreed.
He drove me all the way to work through the difficult weather and then made the long journey back home.
As the day went on, the snow continued to fall. By evening, I was worried about getting home, but I was reluctant to call him. He had already spent hours driving that day, and I knew he needed rest.
I had convinced myself that I would simply take an Uber home, even though it would have cost me close to $150 because of the weather conditions.
Before I could even make that decision, my husband called and said he was coming to pick me up.
An hour there. An hour back. In the snow.
To some people, that may not sound extraordinary. But to me, it was one of the clearest expressions of love I have ever experienced.
I have never forgotten that day.
And whenever I find myself upset with him over something, I try to remember moments like that. I remind myself that people are often more than the mistakes we see in front of us. Sometimes, in moments of frustration, we become so focused on a person’s faults that we forget the countless ways they have loved and sacrificed for us.
The reality is that many husbands carry burdens that their wives may never fully understand. They rise early, work long hours, and endure pressure, fatigue, and worry. They sacrifice their comfort so that there is food on the table, a roof over the family’s head, and school fees paid on time.
Two weeks of hard-earned wages can disappear in a single day—spent entirely on the needs of those they love.
Do we ever stop to think about what it took for them to earn it?
Yes, some men neglect their responsibilities. But countless husbands quietly give their all for their families. They may not always be perfect. They may not always know the right words to say. But they love through their sacrifices, their commitment, and their unwavering presence.
By Allah, such men deserve appreciation.
They deserve sincere du’ā.
They deserve to be thanked.
As women, let us not allow a few shortcomings to erase years of kindness. Let us not become so consumed by what our husbands did wrong that we become blind to all they have done right.
Marriage is not sustained by perfection. It is sustained by mercy, gratitude, patience, and the willingness to remember the good when emotions tempt us to remember only the bad.
Your marriage is half of your deen. Protect it. Nurture it. Be patient when patience is difficult. Be grateful when gratitude is tested.
And when frustration clouds your heart, remember the moments that once made you raise your hands to Allah and thank Him for the person beside you.
Sometimes, the spouse you are upset with today is the very person who has spent years quietly carrying you through storms you could not have weathered alone. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes.
Umm Sumayyah Mai
