Life is a trial, and marriage can be a test of faith. What’s crucial is to marry someone who fears Allah. Unfortunately, the fear of Allah we preach to our sisters isn’t always reflected in some of our men. These sisters often end up questioning the faith we encouraged them to have. Could it be that some men pretend to have this fear but don’t truly possess it?
The foundation of marriage is built on love, deen, and compatibility. Marriage is half of our deen, and we must live with one another honorably. What do we call a man who neglects his pregnant wife simply because she’s offended him? Where is the love in such a man’s heart? Where is the fear of Allah? Why would someone impregnate a woman and leave her to care for the pregnancy and baby alone? That is humiliating and disheartening!
On the other hand, marriage has taught me valuable lessons about patience, perseverance, and endurance. It’s taught me that trials can come in marriage and that I shouldn’t dismiss opportunities for counseling and guidance from those who’ve experienced similar challenges. Marriage has also shown me that it’s not always easy and that comparisons with others’ relationships are unfair. Marriage has taught many of us to learn from our mistakes and advise others not to rush into or out of marital challenges without careful consideration. Perhaps life is a trial, and things can still be resolved if both parties are willing to work on their issues.
Those who think they’re superior to their spouses could benefit from humility and fearing the Most High. Marriage has also been a blessing for women who remain faithful despite being tested by unfaithful spouses. Allah may replace the unfaithful spouse with someone better.
When Allah tests you in your marriage, don’t make a rash decision. There are many factors to consider before closing all doors. Will the next man be better than your previous husband? What about his faith and fear of Allah?
If you plan to divorce your husband because he married another woman and you have children, you need to weigh the chances of finding a man willing to accept children. You may likely end up in a similar situation again (getting married to an already married man). In all, prayers are necessary, and do not always base your judgment on emotions. May Allah ease the affairs of our homes and guide us to nurture our relationships with love and care.
– Umm Sumayyah Mai
