There are people in my inbox who have messaged me without getting a response. Whilst this isn’t intentional, I sincerely want to tender my unreserved apology to you all. By Allah, it’s not easy to answer everyone. Sometimes, I started to respond and got caught up in another thing. Sometimes, I just want to be alone and think deeply about life and my challenges. A lot of people do not understand that you also have challenges you deal with. It may not even be you directly but maybe someone close to you. That means you have something disturbing your mind, and you will not be able to even check a message, let alone answer it.
When our sister Sekinah passed away, I remembered this place, and I tried to appraise myself. What will the Muslim community say about me after I am gone? Who truly am I, and how many people have I either annoyed or hurt directly or indirectly? I always like to free my mind and speak up about my concerns. That’s who I am. I hate pretenses, and I welcome anyone who says to my face, “You are wrong.” That’s only going to be welcomed after you have established the truth, meaning you have heard my side of the story. As for what is apparent and doesn’t need to be asked about, yes, corrections need to be taken, and we should move on. We are not in this life for play. We are here for a divine purpose, and our actions and inactions matter.
If you are angry that I didn’t respond to your messages, please don’t be. I am very weak. It’s a weakness on my path. I will continue to try. I just want to keep the love we share intact for the sake of Allah. May Allah forgive us all. May you find it easy to forgive me.
Umm Sumayyah Mai